Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Educating children is more difficult task today than it was in the past because they spend so much time on cell phone, online games, and social networking websites. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

People have different views that teaching
children
is harder than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past
due to
modern
technology
. I would agree with that
issue
. Despite modern technologies
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
benefits for
children
,
it is being
Verb problem
they are
show examples
one of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
major
obstackles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
obstacle
to educating
children
. On the one hand, there are some grounds to support the
issue
that modern
technology
give
Verb problem
has
show examples
only bad effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
all the
time
. It is no doubt fact that, sometimes advanced
technology
would be useful to
children
's learning systems.
For instance
,
shcools
Correct your spelling
schools
can utilize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
technology
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
variety of teaching
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
such
as educational videos,
distance
Correct word choice
and distance
show examples
learning systems.
Therefore
, spending
time
on
children
's technologies would not main cause that educating
children
shows
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
trend today.
On the other hand
, I would support that
issue
, because spreading modern
technology
can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
harmful effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
youth.
Firstly
, there are a number of negative
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
of media on mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
,
oline
Correct your spelling
online
games and social networking programs
such
as
violency
Correct your spelling
violence
,
inappropriate
Correct word choice
and inappropriate
show examples
sexuality
concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
show examples
.
As
Change preposition
According
show examples
a recent academic
reseach
Correct your spelling
research
, many
children
are exposed
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
modern
technology
too
Change preposition
for too
show examples
much
time
spending.
Adimmitedly
Correct your spelling
Admittedly
children
cannot control
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the type of media and make a rule of
time
Add an article
the time
a time
show examples
limit,
this
issue
is influenced
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
addiction or forming personality.
Hence
, definitely, using modern
technology
devicies
Correct your spelling
devices
too much
bring
Verb problem
has
show examples
negative effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
educating
children
. In conclusion, it is not a clear-cut
issue
.
However
, even though there are many reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
phenomenon, I think that
children
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
too much
time
on their advanced
techonlogy
Correct your spelling
technology
can be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
main reason.
Submitted by kimjy3329 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence/Cohesion
Enhance your essay by varying your sentence structures more frequently to avoid repetition and create a more sophisticated flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
Consider introducing more specific, real-life examples or statistics to support your points, which will add depth and credibility to your argument.
Task Achievement
You've maintained a clear position throughout your essay, effectively addressing the prompt.
Coherence/Cohesion
The logical structure of your essay, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is commendable.
Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Attention span
  • Critical thinking
  • Misinformation
  • Cyberbullying
  • Emotional development
  • Parental involvement
  • Adaptive learning
  • Teaching strategies
  • Distracted learning
  • In-depth learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: