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Band 4.5

Youngsters nowadays are involved in many crimes. What are the causes of this problem? In your opinion, how can we reduce youth crime rates?

#youngsters #crimes #youth #crime #rates
In our generation, the majority of
crime
commiters
Correct your spelling
committed
committers
commuters
 are young people. There are a lot of reasons
lay
Verb problem
apply
show examples
behind that, but the main reasons
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the technological development and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increasing demand. In my opinion, to lessen the level of
crime
 among young generations, adults
shoudl
Correct your spelling
should
 teach them that
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 a certain action is bad.
Firs
Correct your spelling
First
show examples
 and foremost,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced technology is the main cause of youth
crime
. Teenagers' psychologies are not mature enough so they can carry out wrong actions unconsciously.
Thus
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
seeing desired items
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media which they cannot afford may lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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theft.
According to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent research, the proportion of
crime
acted
Verb problem
committed
show examples
 by individuals under 18 has significantly
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
risen
rise
 after the technological revolution.
Additionally
,
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
 of people are increasing day by day and
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 are
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 exceptions here. In comparison with the past
children
, today, every child
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 their own wardrobe of clothes, telephone and certain toys.
However
, there are still poor families who cannot give to their offspring those items which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 considered to be essential nowadays.
Therefore
,
Correct article usage
the inbalance
show examples
inbalance
Correct your spelling
imbalance
show examples
 among
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 reasons to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
envy and
crime
. In accordance with statistics, 90% of the youth
crime
 rate was done by
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
 nation who lives in poverty. From my point of view, it is prominently adults' responsibility to guide their
children
 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right way. They are obligated to explain to their
children
 that performing a certain action may have bad consequences.
For instance
, in my case, my parents used to give me extra pocket money to collect and buy an expensive thing which I
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
.
This
 method of upbringing prevented me from committing a
crime
. In conclusion, I would like to emphasize that despite the challenges of raising
children
 in the 21st century, adolescents have the potential to reduce
crime
 levels among the younger generation with the right approach.
Submitted by musayevjahangir on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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