The use of Social Media is replacing face-to-face contact with many people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #contact #people

Whether the changes in the form of communication have been improved

due to

the internet is an essential subject of public concern and debate.

Although

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

face-to-face connection offers people a myriad of benefits, I will argue that the merits of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media outweigh the demerits. There is a widely held view among individuals

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

communication apps would have some devastating impacts on the fundamental values of relationships. To clarify, it is believed that being in touch on the web is artificial

as well as

the fact that it might be manipulative.

For instance

, there is a possibility that some strangers have the tendency to fake

thier

Correct your spelling

their

idenity

Correct your spelling

identity

in order to take

adventages

Correct your spelling

advantage

advantages

of other humans.

In addition

, there is

an other

Correct your spelling

another

show examples

subsequent factor which is the poor quality of the internet.

Thus

, sometimes there is a feasibility of

losting

Correct your spelling

losing

lasting

listing

connection that

lead

Change the verb form

leads

show examples

to not having the chat with one another. Social media,

on the other hand

facilitated

Wrong verb form

facilitates

show examples

our daily life on account of technological developments. Being available around the world,

this

technology has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

improved social activities beyond geographical

boundries

Correct your spelling

boundaries

Moreover

, these applications

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

the pace of actions ,

conversation

Correct word choice

and conversation

show examples

is a case in point

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since human life is under the

influences

Fix the agreement mistake

influence

show examples

of time constrain. Being the most constructive approach, technology-based conversations are

absolutley

Correct your spelling

absolutely

incomparable with the in-person chat in the past.

Therefore

, the whirlwind of daily activities

leave

Change the verb form

leaves

show examples

humankind with no alternative but

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media. In conclusion, I argued that the pros of contacting others on the net-based

platfors

Correct your spelling

platforms

are without a doubt outweighing the cons of that owing to several critical reasons.

Submitted by momenzade.mahna1999 on Sat May 04 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, integrate more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Enhance coherence by linking ideas more smoothly between and within paragraphs using a wider range of cohesive devices.

Language Accuracy

Consider revisiting certain phrases and expressions for accuracy and to ensure they precisely convey your intended meaning.

Task Achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the topic and clearly presents a viewpoint, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are structured well, creating a strong opening and closing for your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

You made a commendable effort in supporting your points with reasons and some examples, though further elaboration could provide additional depth.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The use of Social Media is replacing face-to-face contact with many people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowdays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?