The best way to reduce crime among young people is to teach parents good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and examples agree = main reason, some wrong disagree = environment, old

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people say that teaching
parents
how to raise their
children
correctly will reduce the percentage of crimes,
while
others say that there are other and more effective factors to
committe
Correct your spelling
commit
murder. In
this
report, I will go through both sides and
then
allow me to share my point of view. Learning professional parenting
skills
is beneficial, effective, and necessary;
as a consequence
, many people
suggeste
Correct your spelling
suggested
suggest
that it is essential to learn how to act
acurately
Correct your spelling
accurately
with
children
.
Firstly
, the criminal's background is the main reason for committing a crime. For
further
explanation, a study illustrated that the majority of killers,
theives
Correct your spelling
thieves
, and criminals acknowledged that some issues, problems, and situations that happened in the past
affecte
Correct your spelling
affected
affect
affects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them, so they become offenders.
Secondly
, parenting is a job, just like any other one, so it requires learning to become
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
. being a parent is a unique job that
affect
Change the verb form
affects
show examples
the whole community, so they should learn how to deal with their
children
so that they raise them correctly.
Although
the points mentioned above are strong, there are adverse points that hold equal strength. The first one is that the environment is the most effective factor, not the
parents
'
skills
.
For example
, A lot of studies illustrated that many offenders were
influanced
Correct your spelling
influenced
by their friends; even though their
parents
were capable of directing them correctly, they followed their band
instead
of their family.
Besides
that, teaching ancestors is useless. To explain that, a report
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
show examples
that despite the huge number of courses that are offered nowadays, more crimes are happening; which
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
that these courses do not help to reduce the percentage of murders.
This
is because of having a variety of personalities,
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
show examples
, and abilities, some adults acknowledged that when they tried to learn these
skills
, they recognized that they
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
useless;
as a result
, even though some
parents
were learning how to direct their
children
,
this
did not
prevert
Correct your spelling
prevent
them from being an offender. In conclusion,
although
effeciant
Correct your spelling
efficient
parenting
skills
are needful, they are not enough to reduce crime among young people. So I do not believe that
this
will be the ideal solution.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Grammar & Spelling
Revise your essay for grammatical accuracy and to correct spelling mistakes such as 'committe murder', 'suggeste', 'acurately', and 'proffesional'. Paying attention to these small inaccuracies can significantly improve the overall quality of your writing.
Idea Development
Work on the development of your ideas by providing more detailed examples to support your arguments. While you've presented general statements regarding the influence of parental skills and environmental factors, incorporating specific, real-world examples or statistics would make your points more compelling.
Paragraph Structure
Consider refining the structure of paragraphs to clearly differentiate your introductory sentence, supporting sentences, and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next, and use transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
Balanced Argument
You've effectively introduced both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion, which is essential for a well-rounded discussion.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points, reiterating your stance without introducing new information, which is a good practice in essay writing.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: