It is clear from the graph that the ratio of smoking men were the highest over the period given, while the women were the lowest in general.

It is clear from the graph that the ratio of smoking men were the highest over the period given, while the women were the lowest in general.
The line chart illustrates the rates of smoking between
males
and
females
in some land from 1960 to 2000. It is noticeable that women have a lower
rate
than men in all years.
Furthermore
, the
rate
of smoking by men has decreasing all the years. In 1960, the number of smokers had different starting points, which was close to 100,000 for
females
and 600,000 for
males
.
In addition
, the
rate
of smoking in Someland fell to 500,000
males
Change the noun form
male
show examples
inhabitants in 1975.
Moreover
, the value of smoking was highest dropped approximately to 295,000
males
during the period 1975 to 1995.
Then
, the number of
rate
smoking
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
males
slightly decreased to 250,000
males
in a half-decade. In terms of the
rate
of smoking in some land by women, the amount of smoking
rate
rose to 310,000
females
population from 1960 to 1975 and the smoking
rate
was constant at 310,000
females
from 1975 to 1980 but the amount slightly decreased to 300,000
females
in 1985. After that, the number of
females
rates declined year by year, which was approximately 290,000, 210,000, and 200,000
females
in 1990,1995, and 2000, respectively.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, females, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ratio
  • trends
  • cultural factors
  • societal influences
  • biological factors
  • awareness campaigns
  • public health initiatives
  • correlated declines
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • stress levels
  • employment status
  • education levels
  • income
  • advertising
  • tobacco industry
  • marketing tactics
  • demographics
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