IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answeers and include relevant examples from your own knowlwdge or experience.

#aim #science #people #lives #answeers #knowlwdge
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Today, having an improvement in individual's lifestyles which can be happened by the means of
science
Use synonyms
, becomes one of the vital porpuses.
This
Linking Words
 essay will agree that improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
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science
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 can ease
people
Use synonyms
's lives which can provide a better life
condtion
Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
as well as
Linking Words
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 a healthy society for them.
Firstly
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, the vast majority of
people
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 who live in a society have a right to have a stable situation
which
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in which
show examples
 more free
time
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 is produced for them to improve
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
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instead
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 of being
worry
Wrong verb form
worried
show examples
 about their daily tasks. If the
science
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 in different fields
is experienced
Wrong verb form
experiences
show examples
 an improvement, great situations will be generated for
people
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which
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in which
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 can be managed in the easiest way. So,
people
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's workloads not only can be reduced but
also
Linking Words
 they can find more free
time
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 for their leisure
time
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 to improve themselves.
For instance
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, by
emarging
Correct your spelling
emerging
 the usage of AI, individuals do not need to search on different sources which is
the
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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, they can leave their search
on
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to
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 the AI and do their jobs.
Secondly
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, finding a situation where health conditions can be at
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 highest level has been a concern for human beings. If the medical and natural sciences improve over
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
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, a huge amount of diseases will be diagnosed and an appropriate medicine will be discovered for curing those diseases.
As a result
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, the public health that human
being
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beings
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
have
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 always struggled with will be situated in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better position and the number of
death
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deaths
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 annually will be decreased.
For example
Linking Words
, producing the vaccine for
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
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 not only helped
people
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 to survive
from
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apply
show examples
that deathly disease but
also
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it has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
opened a new way for researchers to discover new types of
vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
show examples
 for other diseases. In conclusion, there is an argument that the most important target of
science
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 is to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better lives for
people
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay explained its agreement that having a
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
 in
science
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 not only can
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 a better situation for
people
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 to concentrate more on themselves but
also
Linking Words
 it can improve the general health of society.
Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on

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Spelling
Be mindful of spelling errors and typos, such as 'porpuses' instead of 'purposes', 'emarging' instead of 'emerging', and 'creat' instead of 'create'. These minor inaccuracies can slightly distract from your message.
Vocabulary
Try to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition of phrases and words. Use synonyms and alternative expressions to make your essay more dynamic.
Sentence Structure
Work on sentence structure to improve readability and flow. Some sentences are overly long with complex constructions, making them hard to follow. Shorter, more concise sentences can improve clarity.
Examples
Consider weaving more concrete examples into your arguments. While you provided examples, more specific details or cases would strengthen your points and support your arguments more effectively.
Topic Understanding
Successfully tackled the topic by showing clear agreement and structuring the essay around two main points: improving life conditions and enhancing health conditions through scientific advancements.
Structure
Good use of an introductory sentence to outline the essay's stance and a conclusion to summarize the main points.
Examples
Effective use of examples, such as AI in daily tasks and COVID-19 vaccines, to support arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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