The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answeers and include relevant examples from your own knowlwdge or experience.

Today, having an improvement in individual's lifestyles which can be happened by the means of
science
, becomes one of the vital porpuses.
This
essay will agree that improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
can ease
people
's lives which can provide a better life
condtion
Correct your spelling
condition
conditions
as well as
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
a healthy society for them.
Firstly
, the vast majority of
people
who live in a society have a right to have a stable situation
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
more free
time
is produced for them to improve
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
instead
of being
worry
Wrong verb form
worried
show examples
about their daily tasks. If the
science
in different fields
is experienced
Wrong verb form
experiences
show examples
an improvement, great situations will be generated for
people
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
can be managed in the easiest way. So,
people
's workloads not only can be reduced but
also
they can find more free
time
for their leisure
time
to improve themselves.
For instance
, by
emarging
Correct your spelling
emerging
the usage of AI, individuals do not need to search on different sources which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
, they can leave their search
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
the AI and do their jobs.
Secondly
, finding a situation where health conditions can be at
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
highest level has been a concern for human beings. If the medical and natural sciences improve over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
, a huge amount of diseases will be diagnosed and an appropriate medicine will be discovered for curing those diseases.
As a result
, the public health that human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
always struggled with will be situated in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better position and the number of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
annually will be decreased.
For example
, producing the vaccine for
Covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
not only helped
people
to survive
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that deathly disease but
also
it has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
opened a new way for researchers to discover new types of
vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
show examples
for other diseases. In conclusion, there is an argument that the most important target of
science
is to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better lives for
people
.
This
essay explained its agreement that having a
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
in
science
not only can
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
a better situation for
people
to concentrate more on themselves but
also
it can improve the general health of society.
Submitted by ramtin.n1374 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Spelling
Be mindful of spelling errors and typos, such as 'porpuses' instead of 'purposes', 'emarging' instead of 'emerging', and 'creat' instead of 'create'. These minor inaccuracies can slightly distract from your message.
Vocabulary
Try to diversify your vocabulary to avoid repetition of phrases and words. Use synonyms and alternative expressions to make your essay more dynamic.
Sentence Structure
Work on sentence structure to improve readability and flow. Some sentences are overly long with complex constructions, making them hard to follow. Shorter, more concise sentences can improve clarity.
Examples
Consider weaving more concrete examples into your arguments. While you provided examples, more specific details or cases would strengthen your points and support your arguments more effectively.
Topic Understanding
Successfully tackled the topic by showing clear agreement and structuring the essay around two main points: improving life conditions and enhancing health conditions through scientific advancements.
Structure
Good use of an introductory sentence to outline the essay's stance and a conclusion to summarize the main points.
Examples
Effective use of examples, such as AI in daily tasks and COVID-19 vaccines, to support arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: