People who live in foreign countries should follow the traditions and customs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #countries #traditions #customs

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are many

people

who live in outside

country

other than their own

country

. They should actually follow the

culture

. In my opinion, I agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

the statement because of

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

depriciation

Correct your spelling

depreciation

and diversity. To support my statement the explanation is mentioned below. Nowadays, a lot of

people

settles

Correct subject-verb agreement

settle

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

country

outside of their own

for seeking

Change preposition

to seek

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

and better growth in their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

For example

Canada

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

one of the most popular

choice

Change to a plural noun

choices

show examples

for immigrants to settle down.

This

has led

people

from India, Iran,

Middle-East

Correct your spelling

Middle East

show examples

, etc to move into

Canada

, henceforth has diversified the population.

However

people

Canada

mostly tribal

people

are

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

verge of saving their

culture

as their

culture

is being

depriciated

Correct your spelling

depreciated

. In order to support

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the tribal

culture

being extent,

Immigrant

Fix the agreement mistake

Immigrants

show examples

need to follow

traditons

Correct your spelling

traditions

tradition

and customs.

Moreover

, thousands of immigrants moving from different countries

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

not only brought diversity in cultures but

also

domination of one

culture

over others.

For example

accoding

Correct your spelling

according

to recent

statics

Correct your spelling

statistics

show examples

presented by CBC

news

Capitalize word

News

show examples

Candadian

Correct your spelling

Canadian

immigration from India has

incresed

Correct your spelling

increased

by 25%

from

Change preposition

since

show examples

2020 and most of the crowd is being attacted by

city

Add an article

the city

show examples

of Brampton.

This

has led to cultural domination at least in the city of Brampton in

Canada

To conclude

, I believe irrespective of

people

coming from whatsoever

country

, everyone should follow the

culture

, tradition and customs. So

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

, the

culture

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

on the verge of extent.

Submitted by ankushkhandelwal on Sat May 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure clarity in presenting your ideas. Strive for simplicity in structure and language for better understanding.

Task Achievement

Focus on precision in language usage. Typos and grammatical inaccuracies may confuse readers about your main points.

Task Achievement

Expand on your examples by offering more detailed explanations or additional evidence to fully support your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on sentence structure to improve readability and make your essay more engaging.

Task Achievement

Your introduction clearly presented the essay topic and your viewpoint, effectively setting the stage for your argument.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as the immigration situation in Canada, to support your argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments, reinforcing your initial stance on the subject.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.
Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.
6.5
band
In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?
Whereas some individuals are against practising basic tasks such as commercial operations and work, through Internet, another group support this advancement. This essay strongly believes that internet advancement should be welcomed as, it can help us to save time and extra costs related to transportation when people practice basic tasks. On top of that, it allows to provide access to essential activities around the world, even in rural and remote areas, making the opportunities more equitable for everyone.
6.5
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Although it is sometimes thought that schools ought to teach children to compete, other people believe that the focus should be on cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition helps children learn the most important skills for their future life.
8
band
Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?
Since the expansion of media, one of its main usages has been advertisement. The adverts target all age groups including some of the more vulnerable ones, such as children. Many believe that all advertisements targeting them should be excluded from all platforms. This seems to be the correct line of action as the effects of such programmes on children are much deeper than on adults.
6.5
band
Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?
The enormous consumption of healthcare resources and the loss of life could be attributed to smoking. One way of combating this trend is to prohibit the usage. The benefit of making smoking unlawful is that, it will enable smokers to stop the routine. I would suggest that the authorities should enforce strict laws such as imprisonment for anyone found guilty. However, there may be drawbacks to be taken into account.

People who live in foreign countries should follow the traditions and customs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?