People who live in foreign countries should follow the traditions and customs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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There are many

people

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who live in outside

country

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other than their own

country

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. They should actually follow the

culture

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. In my opinion, I agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

the statement because of

Use synonyms

culture

Replace the word

cultural

show examples

depriciation

Correct your spelling

depreciation

and diversity. To support my statement the explanation is mentioned below. Nowadays, a lot of

people

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settles

Correct subject-verb agreement

settle

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

country

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outside of their own

for seeking

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to seek

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

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and better growth in their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

For example

Linking Words

Canada

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being

Wrong verb form

show examples

one of the most popular

choice

Change to a plural noun

choices

show examples

for immigrants to settle down.

This

Linking Words

has led

people

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from India, Iran,

Middle-East

Correct your spelling

Middle East

show examples

, etc to move into

Canada

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, henceforth has diversified the population.

However

Linking Words

people

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Canada

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mostly tribal

people

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are

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

verge of saving their

culture

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as their

culture

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is being

depriciated

Correct your spelling

depreciated

. In order to support

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the tribal

culture

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being extent,

Immigrant

Fix the agreement mistake

Immigrants

show examples

need to follow

traditons

Correct your spelling

traditions

tradition

and customs.

Moreover

Linking Words

, thousands of immigrants moving from different countries

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

not only brought diversity in cultures but

also

Linking Words

domination of one

culture

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over others.

For example

Linking Words

accoding

Correct your spelling

according

to recent

statics

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statistics

show examples

presented by CBC

news

Capitalize word

News

show examples

Candadian

Correct your spelling

Canadian

immigration from India has

incresed

Correct your spelling

increased

by 25%

from

Change preposition

since

show examples

2020 and most of the crowd is being attacted by

city

Add an article

the city

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of Brampton.

This

Linking Words

has led to cultural domination at least in the city of Brampton in

Canada

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To conclude

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, I believe irrespective of

people

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coming from whatsoever

country

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, everyone should follow the

culture

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, tradition and customs. So

that

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

, the

culture

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

on the verge of extent.

ankushkhandelwalSat May 04 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure clarity in presenting your ideas. Strive for simplicity in structure and language for better understanding.

Task Achievement

Focus on precision in language usage. Typos and grammatical inaccuracies may confuse readers about your main points.

Task Achievement

Expand on your examples by offering more detailed explanations or additional evidence to fully support your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on sentence structure to improve readability and make your essay more engaging.

Task Achievement

Your introduction clearly presented the essay topic and your viewpoint, effectively setting the stage for your argument.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples, such as the immigration situation in Canada, to support your argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Coherence & Cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments, reinforcing your initial stance on the subject.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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People who live in foreign countries should follow the traditions and customs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others. However, argue that circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

Children are now watching more television than they have ever done before. What are some of the negative effects of children watching a lot of television? Do you think young children should be allowed to watch television?

Some argue that music mainly serves as a way for individuals to reduce their stress and anxiety. To what extent do you agree or disagree?