IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
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What has been depicted in the pie charts is the proportion of
water
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 used for three different
purposes
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 in six areas of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
,
water
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 used for agricultural
purposes
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 ranked first in four regions of the world,
while
Linking Words
 that
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 domestic
purposes
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 stood
last
Linking Words
 in the amount allocated in six given areas.
Moreover
Linking Words
, industrial use had the highest share of
water
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 usage in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 areas. The largest proportion of
water
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 used
allocated
Add a missing verb
was allocated
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 to agricultural
purposes
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 (88 %) in Central Asia, followed closely by Africa and South East Asia, the former was 84%, and the latter was a little above 80 per
cent
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.
Moreover
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, 39 and 32 % of
water
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 usage was devoted to agricultural
purposes
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 in North
America
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 and Europe, respectively,
while
Linking Words
 that
of
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apply
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in South
America
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 reached around 70 per
cent
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. Domestic
purposes
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 in South
America
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 and Central Asia share
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 proportion, which
were
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was
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 7
per
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apply
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cent
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,
water
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 used in North
America
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 and Europe experienced
by
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apply
show examples
2 % from 15 to 13 %.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a bit below
one- fifth
Correct your spelling
one-fifth
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 and 9 per
cent
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 of
water
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 usage is used for domestic
purposes
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 in South
America
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 and Africa, in order.
Although
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 approximately half of
water
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 used for industrial use in North
America
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 and Europe, in other mentioned countries, the share of
water
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 used ranged from minority to 12 %
Submitted by hongminh317 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, purposes, cent, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • irrigation
  • domestic
  • industrial
  • regional disparity
  • economic structure
  • sustainable management
  • water-scarce
  • population density
  • urbanization
  • data trends
  • resource allocation
  • percentage distribution
  • extremes
  • variations
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