IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that all companies’ decisions should be decided by managers, while others think that it is better to include employees in decision making. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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There common belief that
while
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 running an association executives should take responsibility for making every decision
while
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 others think that they must consider the preferences of workers under their control. Personally, I think collective decision-making is more convenient as it increases the chance of a successful outcome. On the one hand, managers have a particular set of skills and knowledge that makes them good decision-makers. As the higher level employees, they have access to plenty of information about their field
such
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 as business, market and leadership. Ordinary workers most cases specialise only in narrow areas of work which makes it difficult to see the big picture of the
company
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's condition. Taking from them advice may confuse executives to make successful choices.
For example
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, if a
company
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 takes the vote of all members of the
company
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 about increasing the salary of all workers everyone would agree, but in the long run, it might bring
company
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 to the bankruptcy.
On the other hand
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, group decision-making may be better in many aspects. When there are many people to bring something to the table and discuss the matter definitely will boost the likelihood of flowless judgment.
Furthermore
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, as they feel of their distribution to the big decisions all employees will do their best to prove their rightness and it creates a sense of belonging to the association.
For instance
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, in my childhood, I and my friends had assignments from school. In
this
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 assignment, every group should clean one of the wastes of the school garden . I do not know why my band chose to gather the leaves, it was very difficult but we did it because it was our choice and we protected our ego.
To conclude
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, referring to the situation it can be different to make decisions in a
company
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. It is important to know when to choose group discussion and when managers should make decisions on their own. I believe that collective discussion is more reliable when it comes to big
settlement
Fix the agreement mistake
settlements
show examples
.

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Structure
Ensure your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea. This helps in making your argument more convincing and easier to follow.
Language Use
Try to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate linguistic range and accuracy. Avoid repetition of words and phrases where possible.
Examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. More detailed examples can significantly enhance the persuasiveness of your points and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Accuracy
Be mindful of occasional spelling and grammar mistakes, as they can distract the reader from your argument. Proofreading your work can help minimize these errors.
Task Response
You provided a balanced discussion covering both views effectively before stating your own opinion, which aligns well with the task requirements.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion were clearly presented, bookending the essay effectively and reinforcing your overall position.
Paragraphing
You made good use of paragraphing to separate your ideas, which aids in the overall readability and organization of your essay.
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