Some people see sports only as a leisure activity, while others believe sports play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your option.
Nowadays, It is often considered by some
people
that sport
became
just for relaxation and Wrong verb form
has become
time westing
activity, Correct your spelling
time-wasting
while
there are people
that disagree with this
and support
what
Correct word choice
that
sport
very pivotal factor in our life for being healthy. That is
why, there are nomerous
reasons Correct your spelling
numerous
support
that Fix the infinitive
to support
sport
competitions Change the noun form
sports
such
as football were organized for time
westing
Verb problem
apply
other
argue Correct pronoun usage
Others
into
that Change preposition
apply
sport
activities can stabilize our health Change the noun form
sports
for example
jogging and I rely on their option.This
essay will discuss both view
.
The majority who believe Change to a plural noun
views
what
Correct word choice
that
sport
is merely time
waster
occurrence count on several arguments. Correct your spelling
time-wasting
Firstly
, according to
calculations, mainly unemployed persons attend at
Change preposition
apply
this
types of activities. BecauseCorrect determiner usage
these
,
others Remove the comma
apply
employed
in doing their day jobs. Add a missing verb
are employed
This
shows that, sport
activities Change the noun form
sports
partly
for spending Add a missing verb
are partly
time
with enjoyable
. Replace the word
enjoyment
In addition
, some sports like football play
Wrong verb form
are played
informal
in private Change the word
informally
little
Correct word choice
apply
competition
, and they are usually just for refreshment.
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
Majority
Add an article
The majority
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
support
that sport
events are Change the noun form
sports
very
important part of our life Correct article usage
a very
due to
it
can mitigate harmful Correct pronoun usage
they
illness
through Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
exercises
. Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
For
instance
running Add a comma
instance,
marathon
or Add an article
a marathon
in other
words
jogging is one of the organized Add a comma
words,
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
on
Change preposition
in
world
especially in our society. BecauseAdd an article
the world
,
blood circulation whole body Remove the comma
apply
improve
when jogging. Change the verb form
improves
As a
result
we may reach big amount of healthy bodies.
Add a comma
result,
To
conclusion, Change preposition
In
while
many Correct word choice
apply
people
believe sport
events Change the noun form
sports
mainly
for relaxation. Add a missing verb
are mainly
While
other people
protest this
idea which they think sport
is directly vital part of our life. by considering the argument I guess the latter view is more reliable and I support
it.Submitted by Teo Halimov on
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Task Achievement
Seek to directly address the question posed in a clear and structured manner from the beginning.
Task Achievement
Provide clear and distinct examples to support your points for a stronger argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically and clearly, ensuring there's a smooth flow from one idea to the next.
General
Pay attention to spelling and grammar to avoid misunderstandings and improve the overall quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
You effectively discussed both views as the prompt requested.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion successfully summarized your personal stance on the topic.
