IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, small shops and town centers are going out of business because people tend to drive to the large out-of-town stores. This results in an increase in car use, and it also means that people without cars have limited access to out-of-town stores. Do you think the advantages of such development outweigh its disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Tiny
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and city
markets
Use synonyms
 became out of service in several states because
individuals
Add a verb
individuals are
individuals were
show examples
 interested in huge supermarkets. So ,
this
Linking Words
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 that poor
people
Use synonyms
 in every country will not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these companies and purchase their needs . There
many
Add a missing verb
are many
show examples
positives
Change the noun form
positive
show examples
 sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 fashion
as well as
Linking Words
 a
numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
number
show examples
 of downsides. On
one
Use synonyms
 hand, The main
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
 may be
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 need of individuals existing in
one
Use synonyms
 avenue. If the consumers
stable
Correct word choice
are able
show examples
 to get their concerns from
one
Use synonyms
 please, that will encourage these commercial institutions to make all of the daily items available. Another great feature of
this
Linking Words
 trend
,
Add a missing verb
is, competitive
show examples
competitive
Correct article usage
the competitive
show examples
 prices provided by these associated.
For example
Linking Words
,
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 today
attended
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
markets
Use synonyms
 to sell all their materials
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 place and
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the best price. On the other sides , the remoteness of these shops might be the obvious cons of
this
Linking Words
 recent
trends
Fix the agreement mistake
trend
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
poverty
Replace the word
a poor
show examples
 person
do
Change the verb
is
show examples
 not able to reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these places, indeed, if that person
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 to
attend
Verb problem
visit
show examples
 these
markets
Use synonyms
, he would probably spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
 means. Another darkness is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
these trades may designed to appropriate with needs of rich
people
Use synonyms
, For
this
Linking Words
 ordinary individuals could find great difficulties
to obtain
Change preposition
in obtaining
show examples
 their purpose from these
markets
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, these
markets
Use synonyms
 originally
design
Wrong verb form
designed
show examples
 to obtain
a diverse products
Correct the article-noun agreement
diverse products
a diverse product
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 need to get only
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
 items.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 these commercial places provided great services for
people
Use synonyms
 and
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 everything available, there made some
those
Change preposition
of those
show examples
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 limited income
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
. So , I think that the advantages of these trends
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the disadvantages because there make the market process more easier and easier.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Consider introducing your essay with a clear statement of your opinion to directly address the question. This will make your stance clear from the beginning.
Structure
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct point or argument. This helps in enhancing the logical flow and making your essay easier to follow.
Sentence Structure
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetition and make your writing more engaging. Use complex sentences and a mix of sentence types to show your language range.
Grammar
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy. Frequent errors can make it harder for the reader to understand your points. Aim to proofread your essay to correct these mistakes.
Spelling and Punctuation
Carefully check for and correct spelling and punctuation errors to improve the professionalism of your writing.
Supporting Examples
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and show your understanding of the topic.
Balanced Argument
You have covered both sides of the argument, showing an ability to engage with the topic fully.
Conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes your viewpoint, effectively rounding off the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: