As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
Tiny businesses and city
markets
became out of service in several states because individuals are interested in huge supermarkets. So , this
means that poor people
in every country will not be able to access these companies and purchase their needs . There are many positive sides to this
fashion as well as
a number of downsides.
On one
hand, The main advantage of this
phenomenon may be the availability Change preposition
of need
need
of individuals existing in Fix the agreement mistake
needs
one
avenue. If the consumers are able to get their concerns from one
please
, that will encourage these commercial institutions to make all of the daily items available. Another great feature of Correct your spelling
place
this
trend is, competitivethe competitive prices provided by these associated. For example
, many people
today attend these markets
to sell all their materials in one
place and at the best price.
On the other sides , the remoteness of these shops might be the obvious cons of this
recent trend. For example
, a poor person is not able to reach these places, indeed, if that person were to visit these markets
, he would probably spend money on transport means. Another darkness is that these trades may designed to appropriate with needs of rich people
, For this
ordinary individuals could find great difficulties in obtaining their purpose from these markets
. For instance
, these markets
originally
designed to obtain diverse products Add a missing verb
were originally
whereas
, some people
need to get only a few items.
To sum up
, although
these commercial places provided great services for people
and made everything available, there
made some of those who have limited income suffer. So , I think that the advantages of these trends outweigh the disadvantages because Correct pronoun usage
they
there
make the market process Correct pronoun usage
they
more
easier and easier.Change the word
apply
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Coherence
Consider creating clearer distinctions between paragraphs using formatting or clear indicators like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' etc., to enhance logical flow.
Cohesion
A richer variety of linking words could improve the cohesion between your ideas and paragraphs. Try incorporating words like 'However,' 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' etc.
Task Achievement
Be sure to address the prompt directly throughout your essay. If the question asks to compare advantages and disadvantages, ensure both sides are balanced in your discussion.
Task Achievement
Including more focused examples that directly relate to the advantages outweighing disadvantages would strengthen your argument and clarify your position.
Structure
Effective use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your response.
Examples
Good attempt to provide examples to support your claims, enhancing the overall clarity of your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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