As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do you think the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

Tiny businesses and city

markets

Use synonyms

became out of service in several states because individuals are interested in huge supermarkets. So ,

this

Linking Words

means that poor

people

Use synonyms

in every country will not be able to access these companies and purchase their needs . There are many positive sides to

this

Linking Words

fashion

as well as

Linking Words

a number of downsides. On

one

Use synonyms

hand, The main advantage of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon may be the availability

Change preposition

of need

show examples

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

show examples

of individuals existing in

one

Use synonyms

avenue. If the consumers are able to get their concerns from

one

Use synonyms

please

Correct your spelling

place

show examples

, that will encourage these commercial institutions to make all of the daily items available. Another great feature of

this

Linking Words

trend is, competitivethe competitive prices provided by these associated.

For example

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

today attend these

markets

Use synonyms

to sell all their materials in

one

Use synonyms

place and at the best price. On the other sides , the remoteness of these shops might be the obvious cons of

this

Linking Words

recent trend.

For example

Linking Words

, a poor person is not able to reach these places, indeed, if that person were to visit these

markets

Use synonyms

, he would probably spend money on transport means. Another darkness is that these trades may designed to appropriate with needs of rich

people

Use synonyms

, For

this

Linking Words

ordinary individuals could find great difficulties in obtaining their purpose from these

markets

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, these

markets

Use synonyms

originally

Add a missing verb

were originally

show examples

designed to obtain diverse products

whereas

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

need to get only a few items.

To sum up

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

these commercial places provided great services for

people

Use synonyms

and made everything available,

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

made some of those who have limited income suffer. So , I think that the advantages of these trends outweigh the disadvantages because

there

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

make the market process

Change the word

apply

show examples

easier and easier.

mohammedelhassan811

May 5, 2024

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Coherence

Consider creating clearer distinctions between paragraphs using formatting or clear indicators like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' etc., to enhance logical flow.

Cohesion

A richer variety of linking words could improve the cohesion between your ideas and paragraphs. Try incorporating words like 'However,' 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' etc.

Task Achievement

Be sure to address the prompt directly throughout your essay. If the question asks to compare advantages and disadvantages, ensure both sides are balanced in your discussion.

Task Achievement

Including more focused examples that directly relate to the advantages outweighing disadvantages would strengthen your argument and clarify your position.

Structure

Effective use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your response.

Examples

Good attempt to provide examples to support your claims, enhancing the overall clarity of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

personal mobility
convenience
commuting
quality of life
personalized space
carbon emissions
global warming
air pollution
traffic congestion
environmental degradation
resource depletion
electric vehicles
carpooling

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