Increasingly, many governments around the world are choosing to provide greater funding for scientific and technological development rather than investing in arts and culture. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#governments #world #development #arts #culture

Nowadays, there are a high number of governments in all nations spending a lot of money on scientists and technology trends, rather than

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

. I believe that

this

is a drawback in development. The primary reason why

arts

are important is the development of skills that

people

can have throughout their lives.

Arts

can motivate

people

to be creative and imaginative.

For

this

reason, many children can improve their skills if they grow up with plenty of different types of

arts

For example

, if government funding and investment in

arts

that

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

will help all individuals

Verb problem

apply

show examples

enhance

talent

Correct pronoun usage

their talent

show examples

and create opportunities for themselves to be better in their lives and their societies. The second reason is the expression of feelings and culture.

People

can express their thoughts and their culture through

arts

Correct article usage

the arts

show examples

, which will help them to reduce stress. To illustrate, many experts say

arts

are incredibly therapeutic for

people

who are suffering from mental health issues or anxiety.

In addition

, if

people

are encouraged to create art, that will boost the economy by attracting visitors and tourists.

As a result

, governments can benefit greatly from

this

money to improve all services. In conclusion, art can help

people

to be creative and imaginative

as well as

express their feelings and thoughts.

That is

a greater investment for governments. In my opinion, I think all areas

Change preposition

show examples

science and art should be treated equally because

this

will help all workplaces and individuals.

Submitted by hsmkashi on Sun May 05 2024

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examples

Try to provide more specific examples from real-life or historical events to support your arguments. While you mention the general benefits of arts and give hypothetical situations, tangible examples would strengthen your case.

cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly from one paragraph to another. This will help to ensure your essay flows logically.

balance

For an even stronger response, you could also explore the opposing viewpoint briefly, to acknowledge why some governments prioritize scientific and technological development, before reiterating your stance. This would add depth to your essay.

position

Your essay presents a clear position throughout, which is a key strength in addressing the task.

structure

You did a good job of organizing your essay into paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea, which made your argument easy to follow.

conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, a good practice in essay writing.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

241 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

technological advancements
economic growth
global competitiveness
innovations
job creation
societal welfare
strategic move
future prosperity
heritage and identity
fostering creativity
emotional intelligence
quality of life
cultural diversity
human experience
cultural impoverishment
critical thinking
empathy
balanced approach
well-rounded society
cultural heritage
economically prosperous
culturally vibrant

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Word Count

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Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?