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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016.

The table below gives information about a restaurant’s average sales in three different branches in 2016.
#information #restaurant’s #sales #three #branches
The presented table provides information on the rate of transactions among three streets ,which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own famous
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
(chicken
burger
Fix the agreement mistake
burgers
show examples
,wings and pasta)in the time period of 2016. As
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 crystal clear,the highest sale
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
belonged to Georgia and Dunsmuir
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 which was 854,750 respectively ,
while
 the the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
one was for Drake(390). To commence with the transaction value,the most burger sales
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 for Georgia
street
Capitalize word
Street
show examples
 which was 10.69 ,
whereas
 ,chicken pasta was
9.02$in
Correct your spelling
9.02$ in
drake
Capitalize word
Drake
show examples
 and chicken wings
Add a missing verb
were 5.61$in
show examples
5.61$in
Correct your spelling
5.61$ in
 Dunsmuir. Not only the value
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
 other options was in a similar fashion
such
 as
eat in
Add a hyphen
eat-in
show examples
transaction
Add an article
the transaction
a transaction
show examples
 and take away both was high (405,449) in Georgia ,
furtheremore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
this
 was similar for
dunsmuir
Change the capitalization
Dunsmuir
show examples
 358 and 392,
hence
 ,the least one goes to drake street.
Submitted by Elisa  on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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