Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists

Scientists

and

technology

experts

seem to be more valued by modern

society

than musicians and

artists

. To what extent do you agree? Science and art are two pillars of the modern

society

However

, it is thought that

scientists

and

technology

experts

to be

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more loved and valued by

people

in modern

society

This

essay will be discussed both

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

of view. On the one hand,

scientists

and

experts

have

play

Wrong verb form

played

show examples

Correct article usage

a significantly

show examples

significantly

Change the word

significant

show examples

role in human lives. The innovations and discoveries have brought convenience life of

people

In other words

, when

technology

is developing, life of

people

is becoming easier.

For example

, the majority of

people

can chat with their relatives, families or friends when they want time from all over the world in today. It is undeniable that everything

Verb problem

has

show examples

changed

after

Change preposition

since

show examples

which internet,

mobile

Correct word choice

and mobile

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

invented

Add a missing verb

were invented

show examples

Therefore

, it is normal that

scientists

and

technology

experts

seem to be more valued for they have revolutionized

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

an individual’s life.

On the other hand

, musicians and

artists

are no less loved and valued by the

society

. A lot of

people

resort to forms of

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

due

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to eschew daily stress. The reason for

this

alleviate

Change the verb form

to alleviate

show examples

stress, soothe their mind and forget their all troubles. In social media, there are various musician channels

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the number of followers of

such

channels is more than others. So, these factors view that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern

society

treat

Change the verb form

treats

show examples

art equally as science and

technology

. In conclusion, some

people

think that modern

society

value

Change the verb form

values

show examples

more science and

technology

experts

than

artists

However

, I believe that

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

love

Correct subject-verb agreement

loves

show examples

value

Correct subject-verb agreement

values

show examples

equally both

scientists

and

artists

, because

scientists

made

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

contributions to

people

’s lives,

artists

Correct word choice

and artists

show examples

play a major role in the

overall

development of individuals.

Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on Sun May 05 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use

Ensure your essay presents varied and accurate sentence structures.

Argument Development

Develop your main points further with specific examples for stronger argumentation.

Positioning

Work on clarifying your stance throughout the essay to maintain a consistent viewpoint.

Argument Balance

You have presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.

Structural Elements

Good use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay.

Examples Usage

Relevant examples were used to support your points, enhancing your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

285 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

valued
modern society
scientists
technology experts
musicians
artists
reliance
scientific advancements
practical benefits
driving economic growth
daily lives
culture
human emotions
express ideas
provoke thought
spiritual well-being
emotional well-being
preserving cultural heritage
subjective nature
diversity

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Nowadays, a part of people think that it is better to accept negative situations related to unhappy work environments and lower economic benefits, while others believe that they should put their maximum efforts into overcoming those bad circumstances. although an accepting mentality can give us peace of mind, I strongly believe that every person should take proper actions to develop themself.
6.5
band
In Britain ,when someone gets pld,they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them.Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay? Give your reasons ?
It is clear that the old generation in Britain, often chooses to live with other old people where nurses are able to care for them. As a result, the government pays the cost of this support in some cases. In this essay, I will explain why families who have enough income to support the expenditures of their parents must be detected by the government and should be forced to pay this cost.
4
band
The most effective way to solve traffic and pollution problems is to encourage people to move from the suburbs into the city. To what extent do you agree and disagree? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is an almost universal consensus that the individual should relocate to a metropolis in order to reduce traffic jams and pollution issues. I completely disagree with this assertion and will give my reasons below.
6.5
band
Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed.
It has been widely claimed that advertisement has been an important part that is successfully able to persuade people While it is argued by some that it is not too crucial for consumers to pay attention to it. This essay firstly discusses both perspectives before elaborating why I consider that advertising is a particularly potential method for marketing to be a positive circumstance.
6
band
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Public health, a major concern for governments and people, has been a matter of many controversies in recent years. While it is believed by some that providing more sports facilities is the best means to guarantee good public health, others argue that this is not the best solution and other measures yield more positive effects. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give my own opinion

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

In Britain ,when someone gets pld,they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them.Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay? Give your reasons ?

The most effective way to solve traffic and pollution problems is to encourage people to move from the suburbs into the city. To what extent do you agree and disagree? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that people will purchase a product based on their needs and advertising is not needed.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.