Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

#scientists #technology #experts #society #musicians #artists

Scientists

and

technology

experts

seem to be more valued by modern

society

than musicians and

artists

. To what extent do you agree? Science and art are two pillars of the modern

society

However

, it is thought that

scientists

and

technology

experts

to be

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more loved and valued by

people

in modern

society

This

essay will be discussed both

point

Change to a plural noun

points

show examples

of view. On the one hand,

scientists

and

experts

have

play

Wrong verb form

played

show examples

Correct article usage

a significantly

show examples

significantly

Change the word

significant

show examples

role in human lives. The innovations and discoveries have brought convenience life of

people

In other words

, when

technology

is developing, life of

people

is becoming easier.

For example

, the majority of

people

can chat with their relatives, families or friends when they want time from all over the world in today. It is undeniable that everything

Verb problem

has

show examples

changed

after

Change preposition

since

show examples

which internet,

mobile

Correct word choice

and mobile

show examples

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

invented

Add a missing verb

were invented

show examples

Therefore

, it is normal that

scientists

and

technology

experts

seem to be more valued for they have revolutionized

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

an individual’s life.

On the other hand

, musicians and

artists

are no less loved and valued by the

society

. A lot of

people

resort to forms of

arts

Fix the agreement mistake

art

show examples

due

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to eschew daily stress. The reason for

this

alleviate

Change the verb form

to alleviate

show examples

stress, soothe their mind and forget their all troubles. In social media, there are various musician channels

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

the number of followers of

such

channels is more than others. So, these factors view that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern

society

treat

Change the verb form

treats

show examples

art equally as science and

technology

. In conclusion, some

people

think that modern

society

value

Change the verb form

values

show examples

more science and

technology

experts

than

artists

However

, I believe that

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

love

Correct subject-verb agreement

loves

show examples

value

Correct subject-verb agreement

values

show examples

equally both

scientists

and

artists

, because

scientists

made

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

contributions to

people

’s lives,

artists

Correct word choice

and artists

show examples

play a major role in the

overall

development of individuals.

Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on Sun May 05 2024

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Argument Development

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Positioning

Work on clarifying your stance throughout the essay to maintain a consistent viewpoint.

Argument Balance

You have presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.

Structural Elements

Good use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay.

Examples Usage

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

valued
modern society
scientists
technology experts
musicians
artists
reliance
scientific advancements
practical benefits
driving economic growth
daily lives
culture
human emotions
express ideas
provoke thought
spiritual well-being
emotional well-being
preserving cultural heritage
subjective nature
diversity

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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In order to Spend a quality life, some say, people need to have more money and some say people need free time. What do you think is important. What are the other things which are required to have a quality life?