IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The plans show Ashford in 2010 and Ashford now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

#plans #show #ashford #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes
Overall
,
it is clear that
, as compared to the past, the
city
 has now become more advanced, with more housing facilities and newly opened sites for recreation.
Moreover
,
a
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proper connectivity to the
city
 for its inhabitants has been established. In the past, the eastern side of Ashford was
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
 from the main
city
, and the only way of travel was by ferry, crossing river Tam,
while
, at present a new bridge has been built to ensure proper travel to the
city
. The earlier ferry docking stations were demolished and replaced with a new bridge. With the rise in population, more
number of
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houses and buildings have been constructed. Towards the southern side of the housing facilities, a new road has been built, leading to a newly opened yacht marina.
In addition
, efforts have been made to increase the green space, with more trees being planted on the western side as you drive towards the
city
.
Submitted by mshkrp2 on

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Spelling & Vocabulary
Ensure accurate spelling of key terms to enhance clarity (e.g., 'separated' instead of 'seperated').
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words to improve flow and coherence. While you've made some connections, varying your connectors could make the text smoother.
Task Achievement
When comparing changes between two periods, explicitly highlighting contrasting features could enhance clarity. For instance, directly compare the past and present situations of transportation, recreation, and green spaces.
Introduction
You provided a clear overall summary at the beginning, effectively setting the stage for further explanation.
Logical Structure
Your response contains a logical structure, organizing information from transportation changes to the development of housing to recreational facilities.
Supporting Details
Including specific examples, such as the ferry being replaced by a bridge and the addition of a yacht marina, was an effective way to support your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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