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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The chart below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activities.

The chart below shows average hours and minutes spent by UK males and females on different daily activities.
#hours #minutes #uk #males #females #activities
The table illustrates data about the average
time
, in
hours
 and minutes, of
men
 and
women
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on various
activities
 during the
day
 in the UK.
Overall
, it can be seen from the table that
men
 and
women
 spend most of their
time
 in a
day
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sleep and leisure
activities
.
Additionally
,
men
 spend more
time
 in employment and study than
women
 do in housework. In detail, males spend most of their
time
, slightly over a third
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 24
hours
, for sleep.
This
followed
Add a missing verb
was followed
show examples
 by leisure
activities
 and employment and study
time
 for 5.25 and 3.45
hours
, respectively.
Moreover
,
men
consume
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 more than one hour a
day
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing the housework, travelling, and eating and drinking. Meanwhile, the least amount of
time
 that
men
 spend are other
activities
. As we can see, just like
men
,
women
 use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of their
time
 to sleep and leisure
activities
.
However
,
women
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 average spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
three
hours
 a
day
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing housework which
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 than half times
than
Correct word choice
what
show examples
men
 do.
Women
also
 spend their
time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resting, childcare, voluntary work and meetings, and taking personal care more than
men
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, hours, men, women, activities, day with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
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