Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that may cities in the world are now on big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? How government should encourage people to reduce using their cars.

Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
of
people
who
owned
Wrong verb form
own
show examples
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
has
went
Change the verb form
gone
show examples
up in the
last
thirty years.
I
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
my opinion,
this
situation has
potantial
Correct your spelling
potential
to cause big
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
in the world. In
this
essay,
it
Correct pronoun usage
I
show examples
will
be discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
why I support
this
statement and how should governments encourage
people
to decrease using cars. First of all, the main factor of the
traffic
jam
in the world is sharply increased
car
ownership. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the cities have limited capacity when it comes to
it`s
Replace the word
its
show examples
roads.
For instance
,
biggest
Correct article usage
the biggest
show examples
cities in the world welcome new
people
every year and these
people
come with their own vehicles
However
, it is quite hard for city roads to handle
this
amount of cars.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
this
point, governments should take an
immidiate
Correct your spelling
immediate
step to reduce
car
ownership. There are many effective ways to do
this
actually.
For example
, it would be
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
move to open new bike routes in the cities to decrease using cars. Another solution would be, increasing the number of public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
and
making
Verb problem
giving
show examples
discounts on prices. All of these remedies will help to lessen using personal
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
eventually. In the end, great
traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
will be solved. In conclusion, it is significant to find new solutions for
car
ownership. Governments need to take care of
this
important problem as soon as possible.
Whereas
reducing using vehicles will solve the
traffic
jam
problem mostly.
Submitted by fyzalkac on

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Grammar
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Sentence Structure
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Supporting Details
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Spelling & Punctuation
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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic directly and provides a clear opinion, which is good for task achievement.
Organization
The overall structure of your essay, including the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, is well organized.
Linking
You have used linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the coherence of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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