IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

International communities should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#communities #act #countries #consumption #fuels #oil #gas
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Some
people
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 think international communities should act quickly to moderate of consumption of fossil
fuels
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,
such
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 as oil and
gas
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.But it is uncomfortable for
people
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. Nowadays,
people
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 are using oil and
gasses
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 very much.On the one hand,the international community's opinion is true.If they do not stop using many oils and
gasses
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 near the
day
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.The result of
this
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 will be bad.As,
people
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use
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 a lot of fossil
fuels
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 l,
gasses
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 and oil.
After
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this
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,
gasses
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,oils and fossil
fuels
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 will be finished.So the government is trying to save many
gasses
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 and oils near the future.If we want to save fossil
fuels
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 for the near future,we should try to
use
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 less every time.If I do not save these
gasses
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,our children will not be able to
use
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gas
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 in the future.
On the other hand
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,if we reduce the
use
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 of
gas
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 we should give up several works,
which
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in which
show examples
 ,we work with
gasses
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.
For example
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,do not cook meals we should consume semi-finished products every
day
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.
Also
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 for us to save the lamp,we should
use
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 less a TV,mobile phone,a laptop and other gadgets.
However
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,nowadays, gadgets are developing
day
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 by
day
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,came out of it.It is impossible to save lamps and
gasses
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 as many
people
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 are used to gadgets and Internet pockets.
To conclude
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,
gas
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 and electricity should be saved,of course,but it will be difficult for
people
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 to get used to it.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion.
Detailing
Develop your main points more fully with detailed examples and a clearer explanation of your views.
Language use
Work on varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more engaging.
Task response
Address the prompt more directly by stating your level of agreement or disagreement with the statement and providing clear reasons for your position.
Engagement with topic
You have engaged with the topic and attempted to cover both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
Relevance
You've shown an awareness of the importance of fossil fuel consumption and its impacts, which is relevant to the essay's topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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