more and more adults are playing computer games. why is this happening? it is a positive or negative trend?
Nowadays, more and more
people
are into online games
, and it has become pervasive in recent societies. The primary reason for this
is an enormous number of online advertisements that attract people
to encourage adults to play games
. I feel this
has several negative impacts on them. This
essay will explain the reasons behind of
these opinions and provide examples.
Change preposition
apply
To begin
with, the most viral cause of many individuals playing online games
is an
influence Correct article usage
the
by
online advertisements. Change preposition
of
Majority
of individuals spend time sitting at a computer these days and Correct article usage
The majority
attracting
online game advertisements often come up on their screens. Verb problem
apply
For example
, I use an app for my English studies. Every time I open the app, various online game promotions pop up on my screen and these force me to watch the whole add
. I even Correct your spelling
ad
have
tempted and Unnecessary verb
apply
purchased
a puzzle game once, and ended up being addicted to it for a Wrong verb form
purchase
while
.
Some people
might enjoy them, however
, I believe that it has negative aspects to our lives. Firstly
, internet games
are often very addictive, resulting in people
to less interaction with others. Another undesirable outcome is health detriments. Long hours of sitting at a computer can lead to neck pain and vision impairment. For instance
, a study revealed that 70% of chronic pain is caused by prolonged sitting and staring at a screen, which increases in
the number of office workers.
In conclusion, more adults are addicted to Change preposition
apply
play
online Change the verb form
playing
games
because online promotion has become more tempting in recent years. in my opinion, this
leads to some risks in individuals’ health and socialisation with others.Submitted by chia.8ee on
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Task Achievement
Try to provide a more balanced view on the topic by discussing both positive and negative aspects equally, if the question requires it.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and improve the variation in your sentence structures for a higher score.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance your essay, consider adding more detailed examples and consequences of the mentioned negative impacts, which will strengthen your arguments.
Task Achievement
You've successfully conveyed your opinion and provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively addressing the task requirements.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay maintains a good logical flow and coherence throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.