more and more adults are playing computer games. why is this happening? it is a positive or negative trend?

#adults #computer #games #trend

Nowadays, more and more

people

are into online

games

, and it has become pervasive in recent societies. The primary reason for

this

is an enormous number of online advertisements that attract

people

to encourage adults to play

games

. I feel

this

has several negative impacts on them.

This

essay will explain the reasons behind

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these opinions and provide examples.

To begin

with, the most viral cause of many individuals playing online

games

Correct article usage

the

show examples

influence

Change preposition

show examples

online advertisements.

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

of individuals spend time sitting at a computer these days and

attracting

Verb problem

apply

show examples

online game advertisements often come up on their screens.

For example

, I use an app for my English studies. Every time I open the app, various online game promotions pop up on my screen and these force me to watch the whole

add

Correct your spelling

show examples

. I even

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

tempted and

purchased

Wrong verb form

purchase

show examples

a puzzle game once, and ended up being addicted to it for a

while

. Some

people

might enjoy them,

however

, I believe that it has negative aspects to our lives.

Firstly

, internet

games

are often very addictive, resulting in

people

to less interaction with others. Another undesirable outcome is health detriments. Long hours of sitting at a computer can lead to neck pain and vision impairment.

For instance

, a study revealed that 70% of chronic pain is caused by prolonged sitting and staring at a screen, which increases

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the number of office workers. In conclusion, more adults are addicted to

play

Change the verb form

playing

show examples

online

games

because online promotion has become more tempting in recent years. in my opinion,

this

leads to some risks in individuals’ health and socialisation with others.

Submitted by chia.8ee on Mon May 06 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to provide a more balanced view on the topic by discussing both positive and negative aspects equally, if the question requires it.

Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure to proofread your essay for minor grammatical errors and improve the variation in your sentence structures for a higher score.

Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance your essay, consider adding more detailed examples and consequences of the mentioned negative impacts, which will strengthen your arguments.

Task Achievement

You've successfully conveyed your opinion and provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively addressing the task requirements.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay maintains a good logical flow and coherence throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive
stress relief
multiplayer games
online communities
cognitive challenges
mental stimulation
e-sports
socially acceptable
prestigious
purchasing power
sophisticated games
escapism
accessible
advertisements
adult demographics

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more and more adults are playing computer games. why is this happening? it is a positive or negative trend?

Government should spend tax money on public libraries rather than public transportation improvements. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Some people believe that computers and the internet are more important to a child’s education than schools and teachers. However, others argue that schools and teachers play a more important role in the education of children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.