IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computer should replace them. Howevee, others do not agree. Discuss both aides and give your opinion.

#people #libraries #waste #resources #money #computer #howevee #aides
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Libraries
has
Change the verb form
have
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 been a critical part of learning and culture for centuries, but with the advent of digital technologies, some argue that these institutions are now obsolete, and
computers
 should replace them.
On the other hand
, many
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 believe
libraries
 still
holds
Change the verb form
hold
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 significant value that cannot be easily replicated by
computers
. Those who advocate for replacing
libraries
 with
computers
 argue that digital devices
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 more efficient, accessible, and comprehensive access to
information
. With vast online
resources
, eBooks, and databases, a computer can offer the latest
information
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
faster than traditional
libraries
.
Additionally
, they
argues
Change the verb form
argue
show examples
 that maintaining physical
libraries
 is costly in terms of both money and space,
resources
 that could
be redirect
Change the verb form
be redirected
show examples
 into more modern educational tools or technologies.
Conversely
, library supporters
sees
Change the verb form
see
show examples
 them as much more than just places to access books or
information
.
Libraries
 are community hubs where people
meets
Change the verb form
meet
show examples
, engage in educational programs, and access
resources
 they may not have at home, like
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 or quiet study spaces. They
provides
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 a unique environment that fosters learning and community bonding, which isn't easily replicable online.
Additionally
,
libraries
 often
houses
Change the verb form
house
show examples
 historical documents and rare books that are not available digitally. In my opinion,
while
computers
 and digital
resources
 are indispensable in the modern world, they cannot completely replace
libraries
.
Libraries
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a crucial role not only in providing
information
 but
also
 in promoting literacy, culture, and community cohesion.
Instead
 of replacing
libraries
 with
computers
, a more balanced approach would be to integrate modern technology into
libraries
, enhancing
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 role and accessibility in the digital age.
This
 integration can help
libraries
 remain relevant by evolving with technological advances
while
 preserving their core values and functions.
Submitted by shawn291517 on

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Grammar
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and consistency in verb tenses to enhance clarity.
Language use
Consider varying sentence structures and vocabulary to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Content detail
To further strengthen your argument, incorporate more specific examples to support your points.
Task response
You've provided a balanced discussion covering both sides of the argument and your own viewpoint, showing a good understanding of the task.
Structure
Your essay has a good logical structure, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion that reflects your opinion.
Content depth
You effectively highlighted the multifunctional role of libraries, showing a deep understanding of their value beyond just book lending.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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