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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Large business have big budgets for marketing and promotic and as a result people garvitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

#business #budgets #promotic #people #garvitate #products
It is believed that a contemporary group of individuals are inclined to use goods
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 huge
companies
 as their budgets allow them to spend a lot of money on advertising. Nowadays,
this
 problem is
globilizing
Correct your spelling
globalizing
 and may have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
bad consequences,
however
,
this
 issue can be tackled by taking relevant measures.
To begin
 with, not anticipating
products
Correct article usage
the products
show examples
 of small
companies
 may cause to their
bankrupcy
Correct your spelling
bankruptcy
, which decreases the number of taxpayers and deteriorates
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 economy. In order to maintain
stable
Add an article
a stable
show examples
 economy, governments should fill their budgets and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 vast proportion of money comes from
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 businesses to the budget.
Insufficent
Correct your spelling
Insufficient
 money in the budget may lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation, slow
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 of infrastructure and
deteriorate
Replace the word
deterioration
show examples
Change preposition
of standarts
show examples
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
standard
 of living.
For instance
, Azerbaijanian people have a notion that well-known foreign products are much better than local and unknown ones despite the fact that it is cheaper, which leads to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
constant inflation in our country.
Nevertheless
, there is a solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 that issue
that is
 proving to be successful in many areas.
Firstly
, the state can
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 taxes for large
companies
 which may prevent them from increasing sales.
Furthermore
, it gives an opportunity for small
companies
 to promote their goods widely.
For example
,
tax
Add an article
the tax
show examples
 rate in Hungary for the vast businesses is extremely high. Because of the high difference in the prices of their products, there is no competition amongst big and small
companies
. In conclusion, I would like to mention that, it is possible to deal with that problem by conducting
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 tax policy.
Submitted by musayevjahangir on

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coherence cohesion
Introduce your main points more clearly to improve readability. Try to use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas throughout.
task achievement
Develop your examples further to support your arguments more effectively. Include specific, relevant cases or data to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the cohesion of your essay by ensuring a smoother flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can be achieved by revising your essay for unnecessary repetitions or abrupt transitions.
general
Consider revising for minor grammatical errors and improving your range of vocabulary for a stronger impact on the reader.
task achievement
Identified a significant problem and provided possible solutions, illustrating an understanding of the essay topic.
task achievement
Included an example from Azerbaijan and Hungary to support your arguments, showing an effort to provide real-world relevance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogenization
  • economic imbalances
  • cultural heritage
  • environmental degradation
  • entrepreneurship
  • awareness campaigns
  • tax rebates
  • sustainable practices
  • local fairs
  • economic concentration
  • collaboration
  • local economy
  • environmental impact
  • innovation
  • job creation
  • mass-marketed goods
  • cultural identity
  • incentives
  • NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations)
What to do next:
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