IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Unit 8 test 3 task 2 Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#unit #test #price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
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It is an undeniable fact that global warming is becoming worse and worse
by
Change preposition
because of
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 effects of traffic and pollution problems. There are those who argue that the most effective approach to address the previously mentioned issues is to increase the
price
Use synonyms
 of gasoline.
From of
Change preposition
In
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 my view,
this
Linking Words
 may
be have
Change the verb form
have
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 a few
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, personally, I partly oppose the notion of altering the
price
Use synonyms
 of gasoline, and I firmly hold the belief that there exist alternative and efficient approaches to address the issues at hand. On the one hand, increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of petroleum could potentially play a crucial role in addressing traffic pollution. Higher fuel costs would serve as an incentive for a significant number of individuals to
option for
Verb problem
choose
show examples
 public transportation or walking.
For instance
Linking Words
, when
petrol
Use synonyms
 prices are steep, many people would choose to commute using public transport regularly, leading to a decrease in the emission of harmful gases. Currently, many people drive electric
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 which is
environmental friendliness
Replace the word
environmentally friendly
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.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the
economic
Replace the word
economy
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 is
remarkable
Change the adjective
remarkably
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 impacted by increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 about serious consequences. It has
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 immediate effect on
supply
Correct article usage
the supply
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 and demand chain of export countries. A number of people are affected in terms of finance and income.
For example
Linking Words
, during the
last
Linking Words
 few years, many fights and the
embagoes
Correct your spelling
embargoes
 is promulgated by Russia which supplies oil and gas.
This
Linking Words
 increases the cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol
Use synonyms
 highly. The heightened oil
price
Use synonyms
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the other product
price
Use synonyms
, leading to inflation in amount of countries. In conclusion, increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 has a lot of positive
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 on traffic and pollution problems.
However
Linking Words
, it is undeniable fact that the negative of its on the country's
economic
Replace the word
economy
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. I suggest
government
Add an article
the government
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 should
propagandizes
Wrong verb form
propagandise
show examples
Correct article usage
the principle
show examples
principle
Fix the agreement mistake
principles
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 about environmental protection for
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and set rules and penalties for those who damage the environment.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strong structure, but could benefit from clearer connections between ideas. Try using more varied linking phrases to enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
While your position is clear, expanding on your ideas with more precision could strengthen your argument. Work on refining your thesis and topic sentences for clearer direction.
Task Achievement
You effectively laid out your arguments for and against raising petrol prices, providing a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion offer a clear view of your stance, effectively framing your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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