In some countries the elderly is put into nursing homes rather than being taken care of by their family. Do you see this as a positive or a negative development?

In the majority of countries, their
parents
and grandparents put the elderly home more than they take
care
of their families. I totally disagree with
this
and I will discuss it. One of the main cons is people's lack of respect for the old people. Elder needed to help when they were getting old.
For example
, they needed to be cared always like a baby. Because, when getting old they can not do anything. They need to Love, respect,
care
, etc.
Moreover
, the dome forcing countries to take some caregivers to take
care
of their
parents
.
For instance
, Israel, Canada, the UK, and many other countries take qualified workers to take
care
of their
parents
.
Therefore
, they live very happily and very healthily. People believe that
parents
care
more important rather than they put into elderly homes. Another reason why
this
is happening to much the country. Since many children are very busy and don't want to
care
parents
.
Therefore
, they put their
parents
in elderly homes.
For instance
, elderly homes are cheaper rather than the living home. Because children engage with the other
parents
keep the elderly at home. Since they are not able to keep them
due to
their busy schedules they are leaving them old-age
communicating
Replace the word
communication
show examples
. In conclusion,
this
is a very cons development because the older community has a lot of experience that they can share with the youngest and one day they can lose their
parents
more and more.
Submitted by ma.ushamanu1024 on

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logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
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supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples or reasons. This will make your argument more persuasive and coherent.
complete response
Aim to fully address the task by presenting a clear opinion and discussing relevant ideas related to the topic, such as the impact on the elderly and societal values.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on clarifying and expanding your ideas. Doing so will make your argument stronger and more compelling to the reader.
relevant specific examples
Try to include more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will enhance the depth and credibility of your argument.
stance
You presented a clear stance on the topic, which is a good start for developing your argument.
examples
You attempted to use examples to support your points, such as mentioning countries that employ caregivers for the elderly.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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