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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Students should pay the fukk cost for their own study,because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #fukk #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
Pupils are suggested to afford all the costs of their own studies because college lessons bring more benefits to each individual than
society
 at all.
This
 writer disagrees with
this
 statement and will explain why.
To begin
 with,people
enrol
Wrong verb form
enrolling in
show examples
 university courses can create value for the community.
In other words
,after graduating from school,there will be an increase in workers,who have the ability to adapt the modern technology development
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
also
 have enough knowledge and necessary skills.
As a result
,
society
 will never have a shortage of high-quality workers.
Additionally
,these students offer community to tackle the unemployment issues,with the certification degree,it is much easier to apply
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 companies or
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
have more chances to raise many
going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
show examples
sprout around the country.
Furthermore
,there are many students in the world who do not have
conditions
Correct article usage
the conditions
show examples
 to take part in higher education.
Although
 they have abilities and dreams, poverty prevents them from going to colleges where need to pay high fees.
Society
 and governments have the mission to take care more
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these situations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because gaining higher knowledge is key to faster the growth of one nation and
facilitate
Wrong verb form
facilitating
show examples
citizen’s
Change noun form
citizens’
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion,in spite of studying universities
has
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a beneficial effect on individuals,
society
 has the responsibility to littlely invest in study fees cause supporting students contributes so much to improving countries and
also
 helping poor pupils.

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Support & Examples
Ensure every paragraph has a clear main idea with examples. Some points could be more specifically tied to examples that illustrate their impact on society.
Language Usage
Pay attention to the accuracy and range of your vocabulary and grammar to better clarify your arguments.
Essay Structure
Consider the structure of your essay; introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion should all seamlessly connect to each other, presenting a cohesive argument from start to finish.
Task Understanding
Your essay shows a good understanding of the task and presents a clear argument against the notion that students should pay the full cost of their university education.
Effective Examples
Good use of examples to support your view, especially when discussing the social benefits of educated individuals and the challenges faced by those unable to afford higher education.
Logical Structure
You have maintained a logical structure throughout the essay, which aids in the reader's comprehension of your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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