Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the hustle and bustle of life in many large cities, most
students
believe that their payments fully happen for their own studies due to
lots of benefits which are brought by education
in universities rather than this
field in society
. The author of this
essay agrees with the way how the
Correct article usage
apply
university
education
benefits significantly for their own study and experiments.
One of the primary reason
as to why most people Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
behave
that they pay the fullest price for their own studies is the Verb problem
believe
university
demand
abundant in-depth theory skills and Correct subject-verb agreement
demands
knowledge
in all areas. It is important to acknowledge that universities always include enough professors or experienced teachers and high-quality pieces of equipment which support their dev
elopment
in all pressing fields. They Correct your spelling
elopement
also
can achieve their targets and goals while
they participate in university
. There are more chances for students
to apply for good and high-salary jobs and improve themselves both in appearance and knowledge
perfectly day by day. Take China as a specific example of this
statement, this
country still classifies students
into two levels of their own study. Moreover
, they believe that this
way boosts the students
' awareness about the necessary study so that they have a more luxury
and professional Replace the word
luxurious
university
for students
to try to enrol in gaining more knowledge
about the predictions in their near future. After that, they can take advantage of this
knowledge
to provide their promotion and their fullest life.
Another disadvantageous aspect of the payment in education's
Change preposition
education at
university
is the fact that the
Correct article usage
apply
society
provides students
with some realistic lessons which they do not obtain or learn in any university
. For instance
, the students
spend more time taking part in outdoor activities in lieu of sitting for a long time to have a university
period because of the development in
their social skills. Change preposition
of
Additionally
, they difficultly have some social meetings because of a lack of direction in experience in public. They may be separated from society
when they always learn in a small atmosphere at the university
. As a result
, our community is able to be disconnected and separable from each other. By the way, any country hard develop in all fields.
In conclusion, the author believes that it has been fully demonstrated that a university
education
brings more benefits for the students
' payment than the society
, they can acquire more knowledge
and experiences for full areas in their lives in the present and near futureSubmitted by [email protected] on
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Development
Ensure all paragraphs are fully developed. Some points appeared unfinished or lacked in-depth analysis.
Structure
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to improve the structure of your essay.
Supporting Examples
Aim to provide more specific examples to support your points. Broad statements without evidence weaken your argument.
Clarity
Strive for clearer articulation of your main ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and argument.
Language
Accuracy in spelling, punctuation, and grammar can enhance the credibility of your essay. Regular revision can help improve these areas.
Task Response
You presented a clear opinion in line with the essay question, showing a good understanding of the task.
Structure
The structure of introducing arguments followed by a concluding summary is correctly applied.
Content Relevance
You successfully raised relevant points about the benefits of university education and its impact.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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