Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.
A lot of health problems may occur
due to
high level
of Fix the agreement mistake
levels
sugar
content
in the
manufactured Correct article usage
apply
food
and drink products
. If highly sugar
Correct your spelling
sugar-containing
content
products
price
is increased, people may consume less sugar
. In my view, I believe that increasing price
of the product should Correct article usage
the price
helpful
to Add a missing verb
be helpful
peiople
Correct your spelling
people
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
sugar
products
.
One of the main reason
for the excessive consumption of sugary Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
food
and drinks
is in
low cost. Change preposition
apply
Therefore
, increasing the rate of food
and drink products
which contains
high Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
sugar
is of
the best way to avoid buying the Change preposition
apply
products
. The high sugar
content
compounds are m,ore
Correct your spelling
more
dangours
to Correct your spelling
dangerous
the
health and it creates a problem in the human body. Correct article usage
apply
Now-a-days
Correct the word
Nowadays
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
children
likes
to eat Correct subject-verb agreement
like
high
sugary Replace the word
highly
food
and drinks
like ice cream, desserts and so on because it
can Correct pronoun usage
they
be buy
at Change the verb form
be bought
low
cost and Correct article usage
a low
children
can easily buy and eat the food
and drinks
. for instance
, the minimum cost of the ice cream is 10 Rupees. so children
can easily affort
to buy the ice cream and it is unhealthy for their Correct your spelling
afford
effort
body
.
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
In addition
, charging high taxes on the
Correct article usage
apply
sugar
manufacturing products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
the
another Remove the article
apply
solutiom
and set the proper levels of Correct your spelling
solution
sugar
content
for making the product. Government
should set Correct article usage
The government
the
Correct article usage
apply
rule
for eating Fix the agreement mistake
rules
the
sugary Correct article usage
apply
food
and drinks
like children
should take these amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
sugar
Change preposition
of sugar
content
only and elder people cannot eat or drink highly sweet substance
. There should be Fix the agreement mistake
substances
mini
sign board in the package which Correct article usage
a mini
person
should eat Fix the agreement mistake
people
this
type of products
.
In conclusion, the increasing Fix the agreement mistake
product
price
to
sugary Change preposition
of
food
and drinks
is an effective method and people can think before buying such
type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
products
. It is also
unhealthy to
us and high Change preposition
for
price
things are not more accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
whereas
consumers are not affortable
to buy.Correct your spelling
affordable
Submitted by insighttribez on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
Try to clearly structure your paragraphs, starting each with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and examples.
Linking
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs, enhancing the overall flow of your essay.
Task Response
To fully meet the task requirements, ensure that your essay fully answers all parts of the question with developed arguments and specific examples.
Accuracy
Double check your spelling, grammar, and punctuation for accuracy. Minor errors can be distracting and impact the reader's understanding.
Examples
Including real-life examples, statistics, or studies could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Opinion
You've presented a clear opinion and reiterated it in the conclusion, effectively bookending your argument.
Relevance
The topic of sugary food and its effects is relevant and you've addressed it with concern, which shows good task awareness.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.