IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the pie graph below show the result of a survey of chlidern's activities . the first graph shows the cultural and lesiure activities that boys participate in , where the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate

the pie graph below show the result of a survey of chlidern's activities . the first graph shows the cultural and lesiure activities that boys participate in , where the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate
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The pie
chart
Use synonyms
 shows the differences between
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 culture and leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 .
Overall
Linking Words
,
pies
Correct article usage
the pies
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 were in the same level of percentage , as we compared
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
girls
Use synonyms
 and
boys
Use synonyms
 ,
boys
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 are the highest on computer games.
Likewise
Linking Words
 ,
girls
Use synonyms
 are the best
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 dancing . As can be seen more information in the pies
chart
Use synonyms
 , the first
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates
boys
Use synonyms
'
activities
Use synonyms
 there were prefer playing computer games
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
 34% even though they playing basketball at 26% , In spite of
boys
Use synonyms
did
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
read
Wrong verb form
reading
show examples
 any books , the percentage was 2% of reading . The second
chart
Use synonyms
 ,
Use synonyms
girls'
Add a missing verb
is girls'
show examples
 cultural and leisure
activities
Use synonyms
 . They were more like dancing than reading . in the same way ,
girls
Use synonyms
 did a lot of
activities
Use synonyms
unlike
Add the comma(s)
, unlike
show examples
boys
Use synonyms
 !
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
 more information ,
girls
Use synonyms
 were listening to music and netball at 10 or 15
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, boys, girls, activities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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