Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?
In
this
modern world
that
a growing number of young Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
copy style
clothes Change preposition
from others
others community
from Fix the agreement mistake
other communities
another
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
country
.
It is true that a lot of people
in this
world
recently follow
Wrong verb form
followed
the
Correct article usage
apply
style
Fix the agreement mistake
styles
such
as T-shirts or pants Artist
or Fix the agreement mistake
artists
Selebgram
from giant Fix the agreement mistake
Selebgrams
country
like Change the noun form
countries
USA
and Correct article usage
the USA
others
. Besides
, their
Correct pronoun usage
they
also
were like fashion
for they can
show to a large number of their friends.
In recent years, I think I no Wrong verb form
could
monder
because it is Correct your spelling
wonder
modern
Add an article
the modern
world
that is
why many people
were and follow their style
and I think it is better and formal
to find Correct quantifier usage
more formal
style
like Add an article
a style
fashion
clothes famous, thus
, they can enjoyable
and relax wearing Replace the word
enjoy
the
modern styles like Correct article usage
apply
a
artist.
In Change the article
an
this
case in my view point
like many Correct your spelling
viewpoint
people
today have a smartphone they may searching what
they want, Change preposition
for what
for
example
many market place on social media Add the comma(s)
example,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
for example
the
humans use the phone to find a Correct article usage
apply
costum
or Correct your spelling
custom
costume
others
from their phone they download the application such
as Shoppe,Facebook,Instagram,Line and WhatsAppAdd the comma(s)
, therefore,
therefore
they so easier to find a brand lokal or famous brand from another island or large country
absoluthly
.
Correct your spelling
absolutely
Whatever
, in Correct word choice
However
this
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
so
population like girls and boys Change preposition
apply
purchuse
Correct your spelling
purchase
T-shirt
in App Shoppe Fix the agreement mistake
T-shirts
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
they
so Correct pronoun usage
them
satifised
and enjoy Correct your spelling
satisfied
to buy
anything Change the verb form
buying
what
they want.
Change the word
that
Others
feel that in this
case
you can not stop a giant number of Add a comma
case,
people
because they just follow the style
Change preposition
of others
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
and of course they buy the cloth from
their money Change preposition
with
that is
why you can not manage the humans to happy
by themselves.
In conclusion, they Add a missing verb
be happy
comfortable
with Add a missing verb
are comfortable
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
fashion
and of course
they feel styles.So just follow the Add a comma
course,
fashion
in this
modern world
, they also
do not bother you and your country
, let
see society can Add a missing verb
let's
fell
exhilarated maybe with Correct your spelling
feel
new
Add an article
a new
the new
style
.Submitted by patricius.yohanes on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use each paragraph to develop one main idea or argument.
Linking
Enhance coherence by connecting ideas and paragraphs more clearly. Use linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas.
Specificity
Be more specific and detailed in your examples and arguments. Sharing concrete examples can strengthen your points significantly.
Grammar
Review grammar and punctuation to ensure your writing is as clear and accurate as possible. Minor errors can distract from your message.
Sentence Structure
Work on improving sentence structure and variety to make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
Topic Engagement
You engage with the topic by considering the influence of celebrities on young people's fashion choices.
Analytical Effort
Your essay reflects an effort to explore both the reasons behind and the impacts of the phenomenon.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.