IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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More and more people think that it is a beast method to live
Use synonyms
children
Change preposition
with children
show examples
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 .
However
Linking Words
 , others argue that the
countryside
Use synonyms
 is a
more good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
 choice
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
youngsters
Change preposition
for youngsters
show examples
 there. Upon research , the
countryside
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 and the
city
Use synonyms
 is a highly debatable
issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
issue
show examples
 with contrasting views . On the
first
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand , it might be said that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
 are highly supportive of the positive effects of living in the
city
Use synonyms
 . The main reason for believing
this
Linking Words
 is that have a
sharply
Change the adverb
sharp
show examples
 education in
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 school . Here an example to explain
this
Linking Words
 point ,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some cities like here in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Kuwait
Use synonyms
city have
Verb problem
there is
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better health care and many things
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 better can
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just
found
Add a missing verb
be found
show examples
 in the
city
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 .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , the public places in the
city
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 much
beautiful
Correct quantifier usage
more beautiful
show examples
 and can help
children
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 more than in the
countryside
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 . If youngsters can't live in the
city
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 they will have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
bad care .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
Linking Words
conversely
Add a comma
conversely,
show examples
 to the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 conceits , it is believed
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some people that living in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is a suitable choice . To explain
this
Linking Words
 point of view , a study published at New York University concluded that 60% of
children
Use synonyms
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 have a simple and happy life .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , they have a quiet life and far from noise . In short ,
children
Use synonyms
 living in the
city
Use synonyms
 or
countryside
Use synonyms
 is a controversial topic with different opinions .
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
both sides have their merits on balance . Personally ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that the advantages of live
children
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 are more than the negatives .

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Sentence Structure
Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures to articulate your points more effectively. This adds clarity and sophistication to your writing.
Linking Words
Enhance your essay by linking ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs. Using linking words effectively can greatly improve the flow of your essay.
Argument Development
Focus on developing your arguments more fully by providing more detailed examples and explanations for each view. This will help in achieving a higher score in task achievement.
Grammar & Spelling
Work on your grammar and spelling to reduce errors, as these can detract from the overall quality and clarity of your writing.
Opinion Clarity
Clarify and expand your personal opinion in the conclusion, making sure it is well-supported by the arguments presented in the body of your essay.
Task Response
You did a good job of discussing both views on the topic, adhering to the task requirements.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to your essay.
Content Depth
You attempted to provide examples and reasons for each viewpoint, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • rural area
  • extracurricular activities
  • well-rounded development
  • advanced medical facilities
  • peaceful
  • less pollution
  • access to nature
  • community feel
  • foster a sense of belonging
  • natural surroundings
  • outdoor activities
  • healthy lifestyle
  • cultural richness
  • wholesome upbringing
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