Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar

Dear
Ms.
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Adams, I am writing
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letter to request follow-up care for the patient Mr.Wilson, who attempted suicide by using Mogodol in high dosage.He was admitted to our centre on 13/8/2009. He has a past medical history of bronchitis and psoriasis. He is a heavy smoker and addicted to gambling for 2 years. He was a regular social drinker. He lives with his wife and son. He has 2 married daughters and 5 grandchildren, He became depressed when he tried to overcome his gambling addiction
,
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because he had lost lots of his money. We managed him with antidepressants like Lovan200g. He was newly diagnosed with diabetes. Diprosone Ov cream and Lonil T shampoo were prescribed for psoriasis. He started to use
wheelchair
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for mobilisation. His wife wants to consult Dr. Brian a psychologist and regular follow-up appointments are highly recommended. He needs encouragement to maintain antidepressant medications regularly and he
also
needs regular social worker appointments for gambling addiction therapy. I have attached all the pertinent details for your perusal. Please do not hesitate to contact me in case of any queries.
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Structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This will help in enhancing the clarity of your argument.
Task Response
While your argument is comprehensive, try to directly address how making sugary products more expensive would impact consumption and health outcomes for a stronger task response.
Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to link your ideas. This includes using words like 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'however'.
Content
Your essay provided a balanced view with clear, comprehensive ideas and relevant examples.
Flow
You maintained a good logical flow throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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