IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The money spent by goverments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #goverments #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
it is argued that
government
expensess
Correct your spelling
expenses
 on
space
projects
 should be limited and replaced by domestic
projects
 like building education and medical facilities. I strongly agree with the statement that authorities should spend more
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 on public services.
Government
money
 spent on
space
projects
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only benefits a small range of
people
, which are scientists and researchers. most of the
space
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 aimed to prove
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
theoritical experments
Correct your spelling
theoretical experiments
 and have no link to
people
's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
. in
otehr
Correct your spelling
other
 words,
space
projects
 to discover Mars have only
benefits
Correct your spelling
benefitted
show examples
 the scientific centers that
runs
Change the verb form
run
show examples
 these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
projects
. Public
money
 should be spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 developing the
infrastructures
Change the noun form
infrastructure
show examples
 facilities
such
 as
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 new schools in rural areas and hospitals that serve a large number of
people
.
Furthermore
,
space
programm
Correct your spelling
programs
 consume a large amount of
mony
Correct your spelling
money
 and most of the time
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
show examples
 to achieve the task.
instead
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should be more careful when spending
money
 and should
be targeted
Wrong verb form
target
show examples
projects
 that
proves
Change the verb form
prove
show examples
 to be
succesful
Correct your spelling
successful
 and have zero chance of failing.
for example
, one of the
space
projects
 in the USA
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed before
completed
Add a missing verb
being completed
show examples
 and
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
billions of dollars
wasted
Add a missing verb
were wasted
show examples
 on
this
programm
Correct your spelling
programme
 without any benefits.
To conclude
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should focus more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 spending
money
 on
projects
 that
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
people
's
live
Replace the word
lives
show examples
instead
 of wasting
moeny
Correct your spelling
money
 on
space
projects
 that have
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of
succesful
Correct your spelling
success
.
Submitted by nidaa_hamed on

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Grammar & Spelling
Be cautious with spelling and grammar to improve clarity and professionalism. Frequent errors can distract from the argument's overall impact.
Supporting Evidence
Try to provide more specific examples and data to support your arguments, as this will make your position stronger and more convincing.
Sentence Variety & Vocabulary
Work on varying your sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Introduction Clarity
Your introduction effectively sets up the debate and clearly states your position.
Argument Development
You successfully outlined the reasons for prioritizing public services over space programs, reinforcing your main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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