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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You are planning a business trip to another city. You will have some free time to do some sightseeing while you are there. ● Write a letter to a friend who lives in the city you will visit. In your letter ● Explain the purpose of the trip ● Ask about thing to do and see in the city ● Invite your friend to do something with you during your visit

#business #trip #city #time #friend #lives #visit #purpose
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I am planning a business trip in your city Banglore for 3 days after a week. I will have some spare time to visit some famous places in your town
while
 I am there. I wanted to tell you that take leave for two days and come to my hotel room to stay with me. Actually, My purpose
to visit
Change preposition
in visiting
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 your place is to do an inspection of the office factory which will take around 2 to 3
for
Change preposition
apply
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a day. After that, I will be free
for
Change preposition
apply
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full time and we can chill out in your city sightseeing. Could you plan the places for going in advance to reduce spending time on thinking where to go
.
Change the punctuation
?
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Moreover
, let me know the name of the spots
according to
 that I will choose which clothes I should keep with me in the packing. After a year we are able to plan something. try
for
Change preposition
apply
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not to spoil.If you did not take leave nighter we can meet or we can visit places. so make sure that you will be free when I am coming there. I am so excited and can not wait to meet you. hope so you will do
this
 for me.
your
Correct the word
yours
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 sincerely, Rony.
Submitted by akankshayhedaoo10 on

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greeting and closing
Consider using a warm greeting at the beginning and a more personalized closing to enhance rapport.
logical structure
To improve the overall structure, you might break the text into more distinct paragraphs, separating the introduction, main body, and conclusion.
complete response
To improve task response, ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with detailed information, especially regarding the activities and sights in the city.
suitable writing tone
While the informal tone is suitable, aiming for a bit more polished and respectful language can help in making the letter more appropriate.
task achievement
You effectively communicated the purpose of your trip and invited your friend to join you, which meets the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
Your enthusiasm and desire to spend time with your friend come across clearly, adding to the personal touch of the letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • business trip
  • cultural landmarks
  • local cuisine
  • outdoor activities
  • sightseeing
  • invite
  • recommendations
  • explore
  • enthusiasm
  • anticipation
  • appreciation
  • engagement
  • special events
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