IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year

the table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year
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The table illustrates
staatistics
Correct your spelling
statistics
 on how
british
Change the capitalization
British
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 unemployed citizens spent their
time
Use synonyms
 in the previous year.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the majority of
british
Change the capitalization
British
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 unemployed females spent their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
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doing housework both in the morning and afternoon,
while
Linking Words
 most males allocated their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
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job
Use synonyms
 hunting and watching TV.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the morning, the most
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 activity that men do
was
Wrong verb form
is
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job
Use synonyms
 hunting, accounting for 22%.
Following
Wrong verb form
Followed
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 closely by shopping, housework, and gardening, with 20%,19%, and 14%, respectively. The rest were made up not over 10%.
However
Linking Words
, in the
after noon
Correct your spelling
afternoon
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, watching TV outnumbered other activities, with 14%. Moving on to
women
Use synonyms
,
women
Use synonyms
 spent most of their
time
Use synonyms
 in housework all day, with half of them in the morning and a fifth in the afternoon. Shopping took
the
Correct article usage
apply
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second place in both
Use synonyms
time
Change to a plural noun
times
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, with 17% and 26%.
While
Linking Words
 the third
prefered
Correct your spelling
preference
 in the morning
time
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 was
job
Use synonyms
 hunting, in the afternoon
women
Use synonyms
 were likely to find their
job
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, job, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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