IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people say that to become a good teacher, you shoild aquire enough training, while others say that teaching capibilities can be developed with experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teacher #shoild #aquire #capibilities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A good teacher needs both training and
great
Add an article
a great
the great
show examples
 amount of experience in order to do his/her job comprehensively. Enough training is needed because there are some basic rules or methods that should be taught to the educationist
such
Linking Words
 as methods of teaching for different types of learners, variable types of creating questions, lessons that
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 to be taught on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific level, and etc...
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 we can
reffer
Correct your spelling
refer
 to a teacher as a good one when they have lots of experience. Of course basis of all which the person should know to be a tutor has been taught, but an experienced teacher has their own methods in teaching and reacting to different students. Based on their background, they know how to behave in
differnet
Correct your spelling
different
 situations in order to get the best result out of it.
In addition
Linking Words
, an experienced schoolteacher knows how to manage
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
 times and make everyone calm which is really important because students get
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
 easily and they don't know how to make themselves calm. In conclusion, It's important for a master to be well educated and experienced because it's the future of a country who are learning and growing in school classes. If a tutor knows how to behave in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 best way and
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 great ways, learners will be more
couraged
Correct your spelling
courage
show examples
 to pass their lessons with good marks and they will be more fund of continuing their studies.
Submitted by maryamnikfekr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provides a solid structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, aim to enhance the coherence by connecting your points more smoothly and using a wider range of linking words.
Task achievement
You've partially addressed the task by discussing both views and giving your opinion. However, incorporating more specific examples or evidence could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Language accuracy
Try to avoid spelling and grammar mistakes to ensure your argument is clear and professional. Even small errors can distract the reader from your main points.
Task achievement
You effectively covered both sides of the argument and provided your own viewpoint, which aligns well with the essay's requirements.
Coherence & Cohesion
You demonstrated good knowledge on the topic with a variety of ideas and some examples, showing your ability to think critically about the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: