The bar chart shows the participation of children in selected leisure activities in Australia.
The given bar chart illustrates the participation
by
5 to 14-year-olds in selected leisure activities in Australia.
Change preposition
of
Overall
, participants are only youngster
and Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
lady
who have taken race in Fix the agreement mistake
ladies
such
actions as watching TV, arts and crafts, riding a bike and skateboarding.Girls demonstrated a high result only by watching television, meanwhile, boys had all the best scores in any of them except the art.
Firstly
, the top-ranked one is spending time on videos as it shows approximately 98% of females and males equally, whereas
in computer games males had a better result 76% than females who had 55%.
Additionally
, even in bike riding guys had 70% , while
young woman
had only 55%.
Fix the agreement mistake
women
Secondly
, girls also
had first place in arts and crafts by owning 50%, in the mean time boys had 33%. It is obvious that boys showed the best results in comparison with girls.Submitted by aizered097 on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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