The bar chart shows the participation of children in selected leisure activities in Australia.

#bar #participation #children #leisure #activities #australia

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The given bar chart illustrates the participation

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5 to 14-year-olds in selected leisure activities in Australia.

Overall

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, participants are only

youngster

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youngsters

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and

lady

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ladies

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who have taken race in

such

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actions as watching TV, arts and crafts, riding a bike and skateboarding.Girls demonstrated a high result only by watching television, meanwhile, boys had all the best scores in any of them except the art.

Firstly

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, the top-ranked one is spending time on videos as it shows approximately 98% of females and males equally,

whereas

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in computer games males had a better result 76% than females who had 55%.

Additionally

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, even in bike riding guys had 70% ,

while

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young

woman

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women

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had only 55%.

Secondly

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, girls

also

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had first place in arts and crafts by owning 50%, in the mean time boys had 33%. It is obvious that boys showed the best results in comparison with girls.

Submitted by aizered097 on Tue May 07 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

146 words

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The bar chart shows the participation of children in selected leisure activities in Australia.

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

Tourists damage many historical places, making them harder to preserve. What are some of the reasons for this? Suggest some ways to resolve this problem.

Some people think that newly built houses should follow the style of old houses in local areas. Others think that people should have freedom to build houses of their own style. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to your friend who lives in a different country about your plan to work overseas. In your letter explain: What jobs do you plan to do? Why do you want to work overseas? Ask for some information related to jobs, such as salary, working hours and so on

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, goverentments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products To what extend do you agree or disagree?