Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree
Unhealthy
food
can have a negative effect
on human health
. A lot of processed food
and privilege contain
a massive amount of Change the verb form
contains
sugar
, and it can cause diseases. Increase
the prices of Wrong verb form
Increasing
sugar
can help keep people away from buying sugary meals. I think the government should increase
taxes
on sugar
to reduce diseases, like diabetes and obesity, and to encourage restaurants to use
healthy alternatives
to sugar
. My contention will be further
explained.
To embark on, increase
taxes
on sugar
can help decrease the like hood
of diseases, Correct your spelling
likelihood
such
as obesity and diabetes. In other words
, sugary food
consider
to be unhealthy, because it can Wrong verb form
is considered
Correct your spelling
affect
effect
human Correct your spelling
affect
health
negatively, and Correct your spelling
is linked
its liked
to the occurrence of chronic disease, Correct your spelling
is linked
for
example
a published article studied the Add a comma
example,
effect
of sugar
on humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
health
, and it revealed, not only that sugar
can cause serious illness, but also
can harmfully effect
the IQ of young children’s. Correct your spelling
affect
hence
, eating less sugar
can aid in avoiding serious health
problems.
Furthermore
, if the government put high taxes
on sugar
, some restaurants will not be able use
it. Add the particle
to use
Therefore
, reduces the amount of unhealthy food
, and encourage
them to Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
use
other healthy alternatives
to sugar
, like honey, stevia, and date sugar
. A prime example, a study done by doctors in India showed that the use
of healthy sugars can reduce glucose levels in diabetic patients, and reduce the prevalence of obesity. Hence
, increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
taxes
on sugar
not only, will encourage to use
healthy
Change preposition
of healthy
alternatives
, but also
will make people in society consume sweet drinks and food
without negative
impact on their Correct article usage
a negative
health
.
In conclusion, increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
taxes
on sugar
, will decrease the consumption of sugary food
and drinks, additionally
, It will encourage restaurants to use
other healthy alternatives
. To restate my opinion, I think it’s a good step to increase
taxes
on sugar
, so we can have a healthier community.Submitted by Selfigih7 on
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Language Accuracy
Ensure consistent verb tense usage and proofread for minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
Lexical Resource
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enrich readability.
Task Response
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Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect your ideas and improve flow.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear overall argument that increasing taxes on sugary products is beneficial.
Task Achievement
You effectively use examples to support your arguments, enriching your essay's persuasiveness.
Conclusion Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points well, reinforcing your argument.