Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree

Unhealthy
food
can have a negative
effect
on human
health
. A lot of processed
food
and privilege
contain
Change the verb form
contains
show examples
a massive amount of
sugar
, and it can cause diseases.
Increase
Wrong verb form
Increasing
show examples
the prices of
sugar
can help keep people away from buying sugary meals. I think the government should
increase
taxes
on
sugar
to reduce diseases, like diabetes and obesity, and to encourage restaurants to
use
healthy
alternatives
to
sugar
. My contention will be
further
explained. To embark on,
increase
taxes
on
sugar
can help decrease the
like hood
Correct your spelling
likelihood
show examples
of diseases,
such
as obesity and diabetes.
In other words
, sugary
food
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
to be unhealthy, because it can
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
human
health
negatively, and
Correct your spelling
is linked
show examples
its liked
Correct your spelling
is linked
show examples
to the occurrence of chronic disease,
for
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
a published article studied the
effect
of
sugar
on
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
health
, and it revealed, not only that
sugar
can cause serious illness, but
also
can harmfully
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the IQ of young children’s.
hence
, eating less
sugar
can aid in avoiding serious
health
problems.
Furthermore
, if the government put high
taxes
on
sugar
, some restaurants will not be able
use
Add the particle
to use
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it.
Therefore
, reduces the amount of unhealthy
food
, and
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
them to
use
other healthy
alternatives
to
sugar
, like honey, stevia, and date
sugar
. A prime example, a study done by doctors in India showed that the
use
of healthy sugars can reduce glucose levels in diabetic patients, and reduce the prevalence of obesity.
Hence
,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
taxes
on
sugar
not only, will encourage to
use
healthy
Change preposition
of healthy
show examples
alternatives
, but
also
will make people in society consume sweet drinks and
food
without
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
impact on their
health
. In conclusion,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
taxes
on
sugar
, will decrease the consumption of sugary
food
and drinks,
additionally
, It will encourage restaurants to
use
other healthy
alternatives
. To restate my opinion, I think it’s a good step to
increase
taxes
on
sugar
, so we can have a healthier community.
Submitted by Selfigih7 on

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Language Accuracy
Ensure consistent verb tense usage and proofread for minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity.
Lexical Resource
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enrich readability.
Task Response
Make sure to directly address the prompt by stating your position clearly in the introduction for stronger task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect your ideas and improve flow.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear overall argument that increasing taxes on sugary products is beneficial.
Task Achievement
You effectively use examples to support your arguments, enriching your essay's persuasiveness.
Conclusion Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points well, reinforcing your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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