IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#information #culture #history #museums #art #galleries
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It is argued that advanced technology
effects
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affects
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on
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apply
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everything,
museums
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 and art galleries are not excluded. Nowadays most
people
Use synonyms
 usually find their
information
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 from online
museums
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 or online
history
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places
Use synonyms
. I agree to some extent with
this
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 topic, here I will explain about it. As a matter of fact, folk usually look to find some affordable ways to do their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. because they need to save their
time
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 and money. Online
information
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 can provide many things for them without any extra budget and they can save their
time
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on the other hand
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, traffic is
grown
Wrong verb form
growing
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 so, it is an important topic that most nation are escapee of it.
For example
Linking Words
,
crowd
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the crowd
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 get
many
Correct word choice
apply
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information
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 from
Use synonyms
history
Replace the word
historical
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 platforms without any
limitation
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limitations
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.
Also
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, most of them are very
satisfy
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satisfied
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.
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as
Capitalize word
As
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 a consequence, online
museums
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 and art galleries will be thrived in the future. The police have informed
that
Correct pronoun usage
us that
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 if we had not had online platforms, we would have faced
with
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apply
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some heavy
congestions
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congestion
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. Of course, all
people
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 need to go to
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history
Replace the word
historical
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places
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 and
museums
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 and art galleries with their
family
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families
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 because children should be informed
from
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about
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 our
history
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.
on the other hand
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, going to
such
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places
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 can
strong
Replace the word
strengthen
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 their relationship with their family.
for instance
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,
reporter
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the reporter
a reporter
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 has declared on television that many
people
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 have
fun
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a fun
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time
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 in
such
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palaces
Correct your spelling
places
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 because they not only get many
information
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, but
also
Linking Words
, they have a great and fun
time
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 to gather. by the way, visiting
of
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apply
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this
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 place is an important topic in terms of psychology and sciences. Must experts said if
people
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 go to visit
to
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apply
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historical
places
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 and
museums
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, they will be some knowledgeable individuals. In conclusion,
information
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 about culture and
history
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through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online can be useful but everyone should go to
such
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places
Use synonyms
 in person.
Submitted by mrhoshangi87 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, work on linking ideas more smoothly and using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity of your argument by clearly stating your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to make your standpoint clearer to the readers.
Task Achievement
For a higher score, include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This deepens the readers' understanding of your points.
Language proficiency
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and ensure that your verb tenses are consistent throughout the essay. This will help to make your writing more professional and easier to understand.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've effectively structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides a balanced view on the topic, discussing both sides.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • hands-on experience
  • interactive exhibits
  • preservation
  • cultural and historical artifacts
  • safeguarded
  • community engagement
  • heritage
  • authenticity
  • curated exhibits
  • scholarly input
  • misinformation
  • economic impact
  • tourism
  • emotional and aesthetic responses
  • atmosphere
  • ambiance
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