IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Rich countries often offer money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

4.5 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Poor
countries
Use synonyms
 have the
proplem
Correct your spelling
problem
 of poverty rather
of
Change preposition
than
show examples
 the help that rich
coutry
Correct your spelling
countries
 provide
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. The
devolpment
Correct your spelling
development
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 must
support
Use synonyms
those poor country
Change the determiner
that poor country
those poor countries
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
discus
Correct your spelling
discuss
show examples
.the ways of
Use synonyms
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
 the poor
countreis
Correct your spelling
countries
 and it will be
explend
Correct your spelling
explained
.
Body paragraph 1
There are so many ways to
support
Use synonyms
these poor country
Change the determiner
this poor country
these poor countries
show examples
 from poverty. The citizens of these
countries
Use synonyms
 can be provided with the knowledge aid. Like,
build
Change preposition
for building
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
collage
Correct your spelling
college
show examples
 to
studdy
Correct your spelling
study
 and increase the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people who can
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
name
Fix the agreement mistake
names
show examples
 worldwide. Learn theme who to make
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own economy and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 it up.
Body paragraph 2
Second for
support
Use synonyms
 there is an
intarnational
Correct your spelling
international
 charitty which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 the people who
particapate
Correct your spelling
participate
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
theme
Add an article
the theme
a theme
show examples
 to go in
trip
Add an article
a trip
show examples
 to these
countries
Use synonyms
. So, when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 reach there they can
support
Use synonyms
by
Correct pronoun usage
themselves by
show examples
bullding
Correct your spelling
building
 houses, digging looking for water, and
see
Wrong verb form
seeing
show examples
 the way they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of
countries
Use synonyms
 whos
support
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 charity work
such
Linking Words
 as (bait
alzakaah
Correct your spelling
zakah
) and (alrahmah)
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 located in
kuwait
Change the capitalization
Kuwait
show examples
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
both
orgnaization
Correct your spelling
organisations
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
allready mintioned
Correct your spelling
already mentioned
 they
support
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food, water ,clothes and
financaly
Correct your spelling
finances
 and
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
that
 my idea about
Use synonyms
support
Wrong verb form
supporting
show examples
 these
countries
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the
proplem
Correct your spelling
problem
 of the poor
countreis
Correct your spelling
countries
 can be solved not only
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
 way. From my point
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
view
Add a comma
view,
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of people must have information about how to
suppourt
Correct your spelling
support
 these poor
countries
Use synonyms
 and why they need to help them
?.
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 I
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 agree
to give
Change preposition
with giving
show examples
 them money
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think the
support
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many other
dirctions
Correct your spelling
directions
 as was
mintioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 earlier in
this
Linking Words
 essay.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with an introduction, 2-3 body paragraphs focusing on specific points, and a conclusion for better coherence.
Introduction
In the introduction, directly answer the question posed by the prompt. Clearly state your opinion on the issue.
Examples
Use concrete examples to support your points. These can be from real-world scenarios, studies or your own experience.
Paragraphing
Improve paragraphing by focusing each paragraph on a single main idea, introduced by a topic sentence.
Accuracy
Work on your spelling and grammatical accuracy to make your arguments clearer and more convincing.
Relevance
You have touched upon relevant alternative methods of supporting poor countries, which aligns with the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and the main points of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Non-financial aid
  • Root causes
  • Sustainable development
  • Dependency
  • Empower
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Technology transfer
  • Education programs
  • Infrastructure development
  • Healthcare support
  • Skill-building
  • Knowledge transfer
  • Food security
  • Recipient countries
  • Misalignment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: