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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate. Give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience.

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The debate between saving
money
 and spending it as it becomes available is a common one and involves various perspectives on financial management and personal priorities. Those advocating for saving
money
 often emphasize the importance of financial
security
 and preparedness for unforeseen circumstances. Saving
money
, whether in a bank account or through investment schemes, provides a safety net for emergencies,
helps
Correct word choice
and helps
show examples
 achieve long-term financial goals
such
 as buying a house, funding education, or retiring comfortably.
Additionally
, saving
money
 can lead to financial independence and peace of mind, reducing stress associated with financial instability.
On the other hand
, proponents of spending
money
 when available argue for enjoying
life
 in the present moment. They believe in seizing opportunities for experiences and pleasures, whether it's
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
, dining out, or purchasing items that bring joy and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
.
This
 perspective prioritizes immediate gratification and the belief that
life
 should be enjoyed now rather than postponed for the future. When evaluating these views, it's essential to strike a balance between saving and spending that aligns with individual financial goals, lifestyle preferences, and risk tolerance.
While
 saving
money
 is crucial for financial
security
 and achieving long-term objectives, excessively strict saving habits can lead to a diminished quality of
life
 and missed opportunities for enjoyment.
Similarly
,
while
 spending
money
 on immediate desires can provide happiness and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
, it's essential to avoid excessive spending that compromises future financial stability. In conclusion, both saving and spending
money
 have their merits, and the optimal approach lies in finding a balance between the two. Establishing a savings plan and prioritizing financial goals is essential for long-term
security
 and stability.
However
, it's
also
 essential to allocate resources for enjoying
life
 in the present moment, provided that spending remains within reasonable limits and does not jeopardize future financial well-being. Ultimately, the key is to adopt a prudent and balanced approach to
money
 management that promotes both financial
security
 and personal happiness.
Submitted by chalermchartbsc on

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Task Achievement
To elevate your score further in task achievement, aim to enrich your essay with a more varied range of examples and perspectives. While your examples are relevant and enhance the essay, incorporating a wider array of experiences or data could provide a more robust argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain your logical structure by continuing to effectively use paragraphs and linking sentences. This effectively guides the reader through your argument, enhancing readability and supporting your points clearly.
Task Achievement
You've done well in presenting a balanced view and coming to a reasonable conclusion, demonstrating good comprehension of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay has a strong logical structure, with a clear introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. This aids significantly in the reader's understanding and engagement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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