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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #age #women #australia #birth #first #child #summarise #features #comparisons
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The two bar charts provide data about
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 distribution of
women
Use synonyms
 giving birth to their first kid in Australia in 1966, 1986 and 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from these bar charts is that the highest percentage of Australian
women
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 statistics was different and decreased from 1966 to 2006. The lowest percentage had
women
Use synonyms
 who were over 40. Looking at the details, the distribution changed to the opposite values from 1996 to 2006. Most of the people (60%) who were 19-24 years old became a mother in 1996. The lower proportion had
who
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 under 19 and about 25-30 with both about 35%. The significant minority of
women
Use synonyms
 over 30 was a mere 10% and lower. In 1986 the top of distribution took people aged 25-30, and one of the most interesting
fact
Fix the agreement mistake
facts
show examples
 compared to 1966 was that the percentage of individuals under 19 declined approximately twofold. In the rest considered year mothers aged 30-34 reached the peak of the analysis with just over 40%.
However
Linking Words
, other percentages, that described the rest of
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 categories, had approximately the same tendency as 20 years ago, but the values were a bit lower.
Submitted by pusheen.sveta on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • societal norm
  • lifestyle change
  • predominant age group
  • economic condition
  • significant shift
  • career focus
  • family planning
  • higher education
  • workforce participation
  • comparative analysis
  • speculate
  • technological advancements
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