IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart shows the Australian boys and girls attending 4 types of sports

The bar chart shows the Australian boys and girls attending 4 types of sports
The bar chart reveals the percentage of Australian school pupils attending four
several
Correct word choice
apply
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sports activities after school in 2010. It was clear that
the
Correct article usage
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twenty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of boys enjoyed playing Football much more than
girls
Use synonyms
 in 2010. It was compared in the second category which was the highest figure
was shown
Wrong verb form
showed
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 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of students who
Wrong verb form
interested
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interest
Replace the word
interested
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 in playing Football a lot more than other sports. Regarding the Netball players, obviously the number of
girls
Use synonyms
 who played considerably better than guys, with approximately 17% of
girls
Use synonyms
 in 2010. There was only about
three
Correct article usage
a three
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of pupils difference between the figures the Soccer and Netball because it was
also
Linking Words
 the highest indicator.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there were in two out of five categories were shown Swimming and Basketball. The average of boys in
the
Correct article usage
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Swimming
were
Change the verb form
was
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 about 2% less than
girls
Use synonyms
, but in
the
Correct article usage
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Basketball
Add a comma
Basketball,
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 it was slightly different . The average
of
Change preposition
apply
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girls
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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 exclusively one
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 less likely than boys. And the finest figure
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
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 the no sport who did not play after the lesson was almost the same number of students in 2010.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words girls with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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