some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Whether

people

Use synonyms

becoming more independent or dependent on other individuals is a highly subjective discussion point.

However

Linking Words

, from prior experience, it is more clear to know that

people

Use synonyms

are becoming more dependent

due to

Linking Words

living

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

, despite those who believe that

people

Use synonyms

are more autonomous to become mature. It must be understood that

people

Use synonyms

’s dependence is more developed.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

living

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

. With

this

Linking Words

in mind,

people

Use synonyms

who live in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

modern era rely on their facilities, giving them a chance to become lazy and dependent on everything.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

today easily depend on somebody, especially their

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

or family.

Thus

Linking Words

, making city life more passive.

However

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

think that

people

Use synonyms

are becoming more autonomous

such

Linking Words

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

their own company or money. There is

belief

Add an article

the belief

a belief

show examples

that children are encouraged to learn autonomous skills to use when they are mature. They are right to a certain extent, but these skills can

also

Linking Words

be discovered at schools through extra-curricular activities like art, music and sport, so it

relied

Wrong verb form

relies

show examples

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

schedule. From

this

Linking Words

writer’s experience,

people

Use synonyms

more dependent because they are lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

confidence.

This

Linking Words

can be seen that children today are shy and rely on their parents too much. A personal example is children who were born

Change preposition

into

show examples

rich

Add an article

the rich

show examples

family live in

city

Add an article

the city

a city

show examples

, they

dependent

Add a missing verb

are dependent

show examples

on everything

Change preposition

show examples

their family.

Hence

Linking Words

, they build a dependent

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

until their parents cannot help them so they might become

to depend

Verb problem

dependent

show examples

on each other. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

essay has shown

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the main factors which impact upon

dependent

Add an article

the dependent

show examples

lifestyle of

people

Use synonyms

today.

Therefore

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who rely on each other

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more popular than mature

people

Use synonyms

[email protected]Wed May 08 2024

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Introduction Development

Consider developing your introduction more by clearly stating both viewpoints and your opinion.

Develop Examples

Try to provide more precise examples to support your arguments, which will enhance the clarity and depth of your discussion.

Paragraphing and Transition

Ensure a clearer distinction between paragraphs by sticking to one main idea per paragraph and using transition phrases for smoother flow.

Conclusion Enhancement

In the conclusion, more explicitly restate your viewpoint and summarize the main points discussed to reinforce your argument effectively.

Balanced Discussion

You have effectively discussed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.

Structural Coherence

The essay has a coherent structure with a beginning, middle, and end, aiding understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

interconnected
globalization
remote work
independence
dependency
specialization
professional services
social validation
individualism
self-reliance
collective action
sustainability
global community
navigating
complexity
environmental movement

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some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that businesses mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.