Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that
students
ought to spend money
tuition
Change preposition
on tuition
show examples
fees
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because university education can bring advantages to individuals rather than society. I totally agree with
this
statement and the reasons why will be outlined in
this
essay. First of all, universities have a lot of lecturers who teach and guide
students
carefully.
Moreover
,
students
can learn more new knowledge and do practice
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
to improve their skills.
In addition
, there is competition between
students
Correct pronoun usage
which can
show examples
can
Correct pronoun usage
which can
show examples
make them more studious.
Besides
that, they can focus on studying without thinking about how to earn money.
Consequently
,
students
will have
steady
Add an article
a steady
the steady
show examples
foundation and prepare for leaving school.
This
is true in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom,
students
always go to the popular universities and pay a lot of money for extra classes.
Thus
, they can do
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research deeply into their field and work more effectively. Other
appoints
Replace the word
appointments
show examples
should be considered
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
students
will have many opportunities for their career and scholarship. In terms of
scholarship
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scholarships
show examples
,
students
who achieve high
score
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scores
show examples
will be awarded.
That is
abroad study
trip
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trips
show examples
or tuition fees.
In addition
, they can
also
obtain qualifications and be employed
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
big companies.
Furthermore
,
students
can
also
make their own company.
As a result
,
students
will have a well-paid and steady job. It is evidence that citizens are successful
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on their degrees.
Moreover
, they must have enough experience during the time when they left school. In conclusion, education plays a vital role in
human’s
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human
show examples
life.
Therefore
, I fully agree with
this
statement.

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task achievement
Try to develop a clear thesis statement at the beginning that directly addresses the prompt, stating clearly to what extent you agree or disagree.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by providing more in-depth examples and evidence to support your arguments. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or more specific scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow and cohesion of your essay. Although you've made a good effort, experimenting with a wider range can add sophistication.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have clearly taken a position and maintained it consistently throughout the essay, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, contributing to a good overall structure.
coherence cohesion
You've shown the ability to use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas, which enhances the readability of your essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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