Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society? To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that
students
ought to spend money tuition
feesChange preposition
on tuition
,
because university education can bring advantages to individuals rather than society. I totally agree with Remove the comma
apply
this
statement and the reasons why will be outlined in this
essay.
First of all, universities have a lot of lecturers who teach and guide students
carefully. Moreover
, students
can learn more new knowledge and do practice test
to improve their skills. Fix the agreement mistake
tests
In addition
, there is competition between students
Correct pronoun usage
which can
can
make them more studious. Correct pronoun usage
which can
Besides
that, they can focus on studying without thinking about how to earn money. Consequently
, students
will have steady
foundation and prepare for leaving school. Add an article
a steady
the steady
This
is true in United
Kingdom, Correct article usage
the United
students
always go to the popular universities and pay a lot of money for extra classes. Thus
, they can do a
research deeply into their field and work more effectively.
Other Remove the article
apply
appoints
should be considered Replace the word
appointments
that
Correct word choice
so that
students
will have many opportunities for their career and scholarship. In terms of scholarship
, Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
students
who achieve high score
will be awarded. Fix the agreement mistake
scores
That is
abroad study trip
or tuition fees. Fix the agreement mistake
trips
In addition
, they can also
obtain qualifications and be employed from
big companies. Change preposition
by
Furthermore
, students
can also
make their own company. As a result
, students
will have a well-paid and steady job. It is evidence that citizens are successful depend
on their degrees. Wrong verb form
depending
Moreover
, they must have enough experience during the time when they left school.
In conclusion, education plays a vital role in human’s
life. Change noun form
human
Therefore
, I fully agree with this
statement.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to develop a clear thesis statement at the beginning that directly addresses the prompt, stating clearly to what extent you agree or disagree.
task achievement
Enhance your essay by providing more in-depth examples and evidence to support your arguments. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or more specific scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow and cohesion of your essay. Although you've made a good effort, experimenting with a wider range can add sophistication.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have clearly taken a position and maintained it consistently throughout the essay, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your argument, contributing to a good overall structure.
coherence cohesion
You've shown the ability to use a range of vocabulary to express your ideas, which enhances the readability of your essay.