Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society, To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The majority of people believe that pupils should
study
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
financial aid
instead
of using their
money
for the full cost
although
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education is not taken
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
for
Change preposition
of for
show examples
society as huge as for individuals.
This
writer absolutely disagrees with that argument and will explain the reason for her view. Nowadays,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
paying the full cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
study
Correct article usage
the study
show examples
process by yourself is advantageous for
students
. It can be seen that the amount of
money
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
education would be
values
Wrong verb form
valued
show examples
if
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
made an attempt
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
hard
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,
also
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
can make
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
show examples
for them to try hard and pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
learning.
Additionally
, it
also
has more
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opportunities for
students
’ dependence, which
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
the ability to manage time and learn how to balance between the job and
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
of
study
. As
Correct article usage
a
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
,
students
can be free
Change the verb form
to develop
show examples
developed
Verb problem
to develop
show examples
themselves and express
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
oneself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, which
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the
Fix the agreement mistake
element
show examples
elements
Fix the agreement mistake
element
show examples
for
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the process of human
Replace the word
growth
show examples
grown
Replace the word
growth
show examples
.
However
, there are more beneficial for
students
to have assistance from society than paying
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
from
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
.
This
is because
students
should focus on the education universities
instead
of working hard to get
money
,
also
if they wanted to
response
Replace the word
respond
show examples
all
Change preposition
to all
show examples
the price of
study
, it would pay a fortune.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mental and
physic
Replace the word
physical
show examples
will be affected
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
their lead to hinder the
developed
Replace the word
development
show examples
grown
Verb problem
of growth
show examples
, so you will be exhausted and dominate the
study
process. Scholarships
are helping
Wrong verb form
help
show examples
mental
students
aspect, it will
proving
Verb problem
provide
show examples
motivation,
feel
Fix the infinitive
to feel
show examples
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
when not heavily
about
Correct word choice
concerned about
show examples
money
. After graduation, you can pay back for the government and go on your work. In conclusion,
this
argument
also
has a correct and incorrect part, but I still disagree with
this
situation.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear stance on the topic, but it's important to develop your arguments more comprehensively with specific examples and detailed reasoning to enhance clarity and impact.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to improve the logical flow of ideas. This will make your essay more engaging and easier to follow for the reader.
Task Achievement
To fully meet the task's requirements, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt. This includes examining both the merits and limitations of your view more thoroughly.
Task Achievement
Including specific, real-world examples can strengthen your argument, making it more convincing and relatable to the reader.
Task Achievement
You've taken a clear stance on the topic, which is essential for this type of essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, providing a basic framework for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
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