IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

It is sometimes said that the countryside offer high quality of life, especially for families. What are the argument for and against families choosing to live and work in the countryside, for example as farmer? what is your own view about this?

#countryside #offer #quality #life #families #argument #work #farmer
Some body
Correct your spelling
Somebody
show examples
 claim that living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 merits for
people
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
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 for families. There are
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of reasons why
people
 choose to live in rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 or disagree
to live
Change preposition
with living
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 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
. In my point of view
while
 to say a lot of advantages of living in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 we should mention
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
 and difficulties of living in villages.
To begin
 with, living in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to
boost
Correct article usage
a boost
show examples
life
Change preposition
in life
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 quality for
people
. One of
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 significant problems that suffer
people
 who live in
city
Add an article
the city
a city
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 is
pollution
, whether noise
pollution
 or air
pollution
.
Correct article usage
The number
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Number
Correct article usage
The number
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 of vehicles in rural dramatically less than city
Correct your spelling
therefore
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therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
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this
 issue
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 fresh air for breathing and
low
Change the article
a low
the low
show examples
 number of cars causes noise
pollution
Fix the infinitive
to decrease
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decrease
Fix the infinitive
to decrease
show examples
.
Other benefit
Change the wording
Another benefit
Other benefits
show examples
 of living in
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
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 low cost of living, accommodations in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 usually
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 affordable for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
. Most
people
 in rural
is
Verb problem
areas are
show examples
 self-sufficient so food
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 for eating
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
is provide
Wrong verb form
provided
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. In general subsistence for
people
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 is proper in costs.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 and should be consider some of these factors, one of matter we can mention limit in job opportunities, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 in rural work in
farming
Add an article
the farming
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 sector so there
aren’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
isn’t
show examples
chance
Add an article
a chance
the chance
show examples
 to choose between
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
jobs
Change preposition
of jobs
show examples
.
Other drawbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
Another drawback
show examples
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 we can say rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 far-flung so access to some important
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 like hospitals or universities and other major
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 is difficult.
To conclude
, living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 merits
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 demerits
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 individuals or families ought to
assessment
Replace the word
assess
show examples
 every aspect of living in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 before
choose
Change the verb form
choosing
show examples
 to
living
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 there.
Submitted by zahranajafi107 on

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Introduction
The introduction is an essential part of your essay that should more directly address the prompt. Consider stating your main argument or position more clearly in the introduction.
Coherence
To enhance the coherence of your essay, strive for smoother transitions between paragraphs. Using transitional phrases can effectively connect ideas and sections.
Detail
When discussing the advantages and disadvantages, providing specific examples will strengthen your argument. Examples add depth to your points and demonstrate real-world implications.
Conclusion
In the conclusion, succinctly restate your main argument or position to reinforce it to the reader. A strong concluding statement will make your stance clear and provide a sense of closure to your essay.
Balanced View
You provided a balanced view, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of living in the countryside.
Structure
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in understanding your viewpoints.
Insights
Your discussion about the impact of living in the countryside on quality of life, considering factors such as pollution and cost of living, is insightful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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