IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
All the shops in towns and cities will close one day because the trend of online shopping is growing at a fast pace. In my opinion, the local shops will be closing in future because online shopping provides a variety of options and saves
time
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 have opted to buy various things like clothes, bags, or shoes from online websites because they give a wide range of options, and it is easy to choose from them. If a person wants to buy a dress from Canada, they can buy it even if they are living in the USA.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the introduction of Artificial Intelligence in the sites,
people
Use synonyms
 can compare if the dress best fits them or not.
For example
Linking Words
, Nike has introduced AI on their website which not only gives insights about the size of the shoe but
also
Linking Words
 advises if the shoe will suit them on the basics of their skin complexion. Nowadays, everyone is busy with their work and does not have
time
Use synonyms
 to go shopping.
However
Linking Words
, e-commerce websites have made things easy and efficient as
people
Use synonyms
 can buy anything at any
time
Use synonyms
 by just sitting in their homes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the products are delivered in front of their home door, so
people
Use synonyms
 do not have to go out which saves
time
Use synonyms
 and money.
For instance
Linking Words
, Amazon delivers their products straight to the home address and the products are well-packed which reduces the damage. In conclusion, I agree with the statement that local shops will be closing near in the future because the trend of shopping is increasing as it provides a lot of variety
as well as
Linking Words
 saves
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bhat.shweta17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your main points clearly align with the essay's central argument. Some of the arguments about AI enhancements, while compelling, slightly stray from the core argument about physical stores closing entirely.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the connection between your ideas to strengthen the logical progression. Consider using more transition phrases or linking words.
task achievement
Your essay presents relevant and specific examples, like the Nike AI feature, which adds depth and context to your argument about the advantages of online shopping.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame your arguments, giving your essay a clear start and close, which aids readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: