In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?
Nowadays we live in
era
of technological and modernization boom.
All services become more comfortable and Fast thanks to online functions. For a large number of Add an article
an era
the era
people
it is salvation, but there Add a comma
people,
also
some people claiming that it will destroy face-to-face contact and communication at all. In my Add a missing verb
are also
essay
I will discuss both Add a comma
essay,
side
of these statements.
On the one hand, the internet proves to be highly convenient in numerous Change to a plural noun
sides
way
. Many individuals can stay connected with friends and family from
big distance Fix the agreement mistake
ways
of
each other, just using
social media Change preposition
from
such
as Facebook , Skype, on Correct your spelling
Instagram
Instargam
to have chatting or even video calls. Add the comma(s)
Instargam,
Furthermore
, the Internet has revolutionized the way we shop, allowing us to save time and search for the least deals online. Moreover
, an increasing number of people are working or studying now from homes
, choosing hours that suit their schedules. Fix the agreement mistake
home
For example
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, companies and school shift
their operations online, which helped to combine work and study and kept the Wrong verb form
shifted
work-live
Correct your spelling
work-life
balence
.
Correct your spelling
balance
On the other hand
, we cannot deny that this
trend has a negative effect. This
isolation from real
world is the root cause of severe mental and physical health issues, Add an article
the real
such
as depression, insecurity and obesity, which is a common phenomenon we have served
in recent years.
In conclusion, the internet has brought about both positive and negative developments. Striking a balance between these aspects is essential for enhancing efficiency in work, communication and shopping.Verb problem
experienced
Submitted by yuliakozhevnik13 on
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Task Achievement
Consider expanding your examples with more specific details to enhance your argument. While you've provided general instances, particularly regarding the impact of the Internet on daily activities, more concrete examples could offer a stronger base for your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and typographical mistakes which can slightly distract from the overall quality of your writing. Regular proofreading can help smooth these out.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, thereby improving the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
You've provided a balanced view on the topic, successfully discussing both the positive and negative sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay maintains a good structure, with clear paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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