Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?

#school #leavers #travel #work #period #time #university #study

In today's era, some students who graduate from school want to

travel

work

for a period of time rather than going

immedately

Correct your spelling

immediately

university

This

action has some pros that will outweigh the cons.

This

essay intends to express

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

travel

work

before starting

university

To begin

with, it is better to have some

work

experience before starting a faculty.

Becasue

Correct your spelling

Because

, it helps the person to learn better that subject and makes the person familiar with lessons.

Hence

, the student will learn the subject only with

one

Correct determiner usage

show examples

time

Correct your spelling

one-time

show examples

review or

one time

Add a hyphen

one-time

show examples

lecturing by the instructor.

For instance

, some

people

before starting the faculty of Pharmacy

work

in a small clinic at least they learn how to inject or how to bandage a wound.

In addition

, generally

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

is a good experience in all aspects of our life. Traveling

contribue

Correct your spelling

contributes

to our learning as well because

while

visiting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

foreign countries we will

expereince

Correct your spelling

experience

new adventures

additionally

Change preposition

show examples

some trips we will face

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

delimma. The

people

who have not

travel

Wrong verb form

travelled

show examples

in their entire life they do not know about hardship and

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

people

who have not seen hard

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

will not try

become

Fix the infinitive

to become

show examples

stronger and will

mot

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

pay enough attention to their

educatio

Correct your spelling

education

. To exemplify

this

statement, today most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

rich and

succeed

Replace the word

successful

show examples

people

have passed a hard situation and

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

also

has a lot of

difficulteis

Correct your spelling

difficulties

. Summing up, many

people

are eager to

work

travel

for a

while

befor

Correct your spelling

before

starting

university

According to

mentioned

Correct article usage

the mentioned

show examples

points in

this

eaasy

Correct your spelling

essay

and my personal and logical

perceptions

Add a comma

perceptions,

show examples

it is better to have some trips or

work

experience

befor

Correct your spelling

before

starting

university

Submitted by amotoh10 on Wed May 08 2024

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Development & Support

Develop your ideas more fully with a wider range of examples and deeper analysis to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and enhance the flow of your essay.

Introduction

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your discussion, clearly presenting the topic and your stance.

Supporting Examples

You included specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your arguments.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reaffirms your stance, providing a strong finish to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

real-world experience
practical skills
time management
teamwork
problem-solving abilities
horizons
creativity
adaptability
gap year
academic rigor
financial constraints
long-term educational goals
academic pursuits
academic ambitions

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Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to university. Do the advantages of this for their study outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people believe that technology has made our lives more complicated and the solution is to live a simple life without technology. Agree or disagree?

Some people think teachers have a greater influence than parents on the development of a child's intelligence and social skills. Do you agree or disagree? Write at least 250 words.

Some people belive that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinión.

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?