IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows a simple system that turn dirty water into clean water. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The diagram below shows a simple system that turn dirty water into clean water. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The diagram illustrates a traditional system for converting dirty
water
Use synonyms
 to clean
water
Use synonyms
.
It's depends
Change the verb form
It depends
show examples
 on natural materials for purifying
water
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 system
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of two storage drums.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the tank for filtration of dirty
water
Use synonyms
 by natural substances
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 sand, charcoal and gravel.
It's connects
Change the verb form
It's connected
show examples
 to the drums by
plastic
Correct article usage
a plastic
show examples
 barrel.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the other rank acts receiver for the cleaned
water
Use synonyms
 that's suitable for drinking and
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • filtration system
  • gravel layer
  • sand layer
  • charcoal layer
  • impurities
  • boiling process
  • bacteria
  • microorganisms
  • condensation stage
  • purified
  • contaminated water
  • potable water
  • transformation
  • capture
  • remove large impurities
  • remove small impurities
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